Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Temporary Recluse: Part 1

This story is partly fiction (many of the tidbits about myself are true), and is based on the nights where I hole myself up and don't go out (aka: being lame)


"What are you going to do on all that time off?"

"Getting away for awhile," I told Kelly. She's my department head at the television station I work at.

"Sounds great! Where are you going?"

"Hoping to visit some college friends in Boston. We haven't seen each other in more than three years."

That actually was true. I do someday hope to make it up to Bah-stahn to visit Leah and Jared. But this time around, it just isn't happening.

Why is it that everyone seems to want to take a trip out of town to, quote on quote, "relax." I don't find anything tranquil and peaceful about that. Especially not with the bungled airport security mess, costs of being a tourist, and the confusion of being in a new place where you don't know where the heck anything is.

No thanks.

Instead, I have decided to spend one entire week in my apartment... without leaving it at all. My roommate, Kevin, was in Hong Kong on business for six months. He's a computer guy. That's all I know.

Yeah, I know it's a little crazy cat lady. But I'm allergic to cats anyhow.

I spend a lot of time with people. And talking to people. And being annoyed by people. And being disappointed by people.

Not quite the party you'd imagine.

So the first plan of action was to secure rations for my week in exile.

Thank God for the Publix down the street. Here is the rundown on my diet for the week. (I did leave a few spaces in there for some pizza/Chinese delivery)

4 frozen California Pizza Kitchen pizzas (Barbecue Chicken variety)
Deli turkey & roast beef
Ice cream
2 Stouffer's frozen lasagna dishes

Total cost: $42.77

Really, that would be how much I'd pay for 2-3 meals at a restaurant on a vacation.

Between work and all sorts of social commitments, I hardly get time to recharge the batteries and contemplate deeper issues.

Very few people get the chance to be totally alone. I think it's crucial to figure out who you are and what you want out of your life. Why go through days, weeks, months, and years without even having direction and passion?


I spent the weekend doing stuff totally for me. Re-reading Shmuley Boteach's "Hating Women" which is one of the most influential books I've ever had the pleasure of poring over. Seriously, give it a try. I promise it's not some feminazi crap. Taking several long, hot baths. Cooking dinner. Baking cookies. Eating out on the lanai.

Of course that also means sleeping in, and staying up way too late watching my TV on DVD sets.

Monday, I did not get out of bed until 3 o' clock in the afternoon. Then I organized my closet, did four loads of laundry, and gave myself a pedicure and an at-home facial. At night, I watched six episodes of Designing Women.

Tuesday morning I actually woke up rather early, at 8 a.m.. As I stepped out of the shower, there was a knock at the door. Oh crap. On went the ratty bathrobe. I was not expecting anyone.

This is going to sound like the beginning of a porno, but on the landing, was a rather attractive man.

I'm completely serious. And it wasn't a pizza guy.

"I'm Drew," he introduced himself while trying to shake my hand.

"Claire. Can I help you with something?" I asked furtively. "Are you one of those Kirby vaccuum cleaner dudes? Cutco knives? I'm guessing you're not with Avon..."

Then I noticed a large pack at his feet.

"I'm not too into cosmetics," he laughed. "Old buddy of Kevin Watson's."

"I do know him. He lives here. Well, usually. But I'm afraid you missed him. He left for Asia a few weeks ago."

Drew looked slightly confused. "He didn't say anything about me coming? I'm from Pittsburgh. Kevin and I have an arrangement for me to sublet his apartment-"

What? I stood speechless. Absolutely speechless.

The guy handed me a letter on Kevin's company letterhead. It was easy to tell by the verbage, that the note had indeed been written by Kevin.

"He sent me a key, but I thought I shouldn't just come barging in." Drew then held up the silver key that matched mine exactly.

Who IS this guy?

"Uhh... Do you need help with your stuff?"


Anybody interested in seeing a Part 2, let me know!

1 comment:

thesciencegirl said...

This is fun. Post more.

I love CPK BBQ chicken frozen pizzas.