This One's For You, V

While I may have strayed to watch 30 Rock, The Suze Orman Show, In Plain Sight, and other gratifying television shows - there is really only one that I pledge my undying allegiance to. You know what it is.

Yesterday while doing laundry and picking up my bedroom, I rewatched the first half of season two.

When I feel like my life is complicated or glum, this is the perfect remedy. Veronica's sarcastic, tough, out-smarting, and her world seems to be littered with males of every type. Her best friend, boyfriends, devoted dad, vice-principal, sheriff, bikers, public defender, sleazy rival private investigator.

"Aghhh... Sorry. I got so swept up in your beauty that I forgot my assignment." - Vinnie Van Lowe.

As I write this, I am watching one of the most gripping episode of the series - 2.11 - "Donut Run."

Although most Veronica Mars fans tend to be supportive of the Veronica/Logan romance - nicknamed LoVe... I tend to think differently.

While I found the character Duncan to at times be dull, his romance with Ronnie takes the cake for me.

Veronica and Duncan dated during their sophomore year of high school, as Duncan's sister Lily (Veronica's best friend) dated Duncan's best friend Logan. Veronica's mom and Duncan's father had an affair, and it was widely rumored that Veronica was actually Duncan's half-sister.

To break up the pair, Duncan's mother tells him this information. He breaks things off with Veronica. Then Lily is murdered.

A year passes. Duncan and Veronica's friend Meg get together in episode 1.15, "Ruskie Business." Veronica gives them her blessing at Neptune High School's 80s dance after finding out that Duncan had been Meg's secret admirer.

When Veronica discovers that she and Duncan are unrelated, she tells him. Duncan breaks up with Meg, and during the summer - reunites with Veronica. He persists in hanging around her at the coffee shop where she works. On her birthday, he leaves her a gift box. Viewers see her open it, read the fortune cookie message inside, then run to him. But no one is privied to the message.

But... Meg is pregnant and goes into a coma following a tragic bus crash. She briefly wakes up and asks Veronica for help. Meg's parents are abusive, and Veronica assures Meg she won't let her parents send the baby away to a religious adoption program. Soon afterward, Meg dies but the baby lives.

Following through on this promise, Veronica helps Duncan escape the country with his infant daughter, never to see him again. I can't imagine what that had to be like. Especially since the only reason Duncan dates Meg is because his mother convinced him that he and Veronica were brother and sister. Talk about star-crossed. Helping your love's dead ex-girlfriend with her last final wish. Whoa there.

At the end of the episode, the song Adelaide plays as viewers see Veronica taking a walk on the beach. We then see what the fortune cookie said: "True love stories never have endings."

As a rabid fan, I can definitely see why Veronica was so touched by that gift. After all the turmoil and drama, Duncan reminded her that their love still stands a chance. That he's loved her all along. It was so perfect.

To me, this love story is so much more meaningful than the one between Logan and Veronica. Logan has destructive and hurtful actions, while Duncan's affections for Veronica are good and well intentioned. Throughout the series he never does anything malicious or intentionally wrong to her. He is good to her. This, to me, is more characteristic of epic love.

It's enough to make me wonder whether the fortune cookie statement has a lot of truth to it or not. Will one always have feelings for someone they truly love? Or does the end of the relationship mean the end of that story. As Carrie Bradshaw once asked, "When two people break up, where does the love go?" That answer, I really don't know.

When I looked up the phrase unrequited love on Wikipedia, this is the entry I found.

Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may not even be aware of this person's deep feelings for them. This can lead to feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria. Being such a universal feeling, it has naturally been a frequent subject in popular culture.

There are some instances, where I can see why unrequited love should remain... unrequited. For example, if one or both people are already married. Commitment is commitment, folks.

But then I ponder why others who could be happy and in love with each other don't get together. Sometimes it's for reasons that just aren't that valid. I believe that if there's a chance for two people to find love with one another, that's a risk worth taking. We are not guaranteed a soulmate or even close to it.

So Veronica, this one's for you.

Behind the Blog

It's a little late, but I've failed to notice something.

I have never explained the name of this blog. My blog.

Becoming The Marshmallow

No, I'm not nuts about puffed sugar. It's actually an homage to the best television show ever - Veronica Mars. Why? Because I feel it's very fitting to who I am.

In the pilot, there are two instances where Veronica is referred to as a marshmallow. If you have not seen the show, Veronica is a tough, sassy, teen sleuth. Her father is the town outcast/former sheriff, her mother has abandoned her family, and her boyfriend has broken up with her because he thinks they are half brother and sister. Oh yeah, and her best friend was murdered.

This first episode paints a colorful picture of Veronica's shattered life, which she must survive daily. We learn that her father was ousted as sheriff in their small town of Neptune, California and is now making ends meet as a private investigator. We learn that Veronica was drugged and date raped at a party. Yet, she shows strength and class, humility, and compassion through it all.

After helping her new friend Wallace out with some trouble at school, he replies:

Oh no you don't. You really think I'm gonna let you get away with that? That might play with the masses, but underneath that angry young woman shell, there's a slightly less angry young woman who's just dying to bake me something. You're a marshmallow, Veronica Mars. A twinkie.

After finding out that her mother may still be in town, Veronica tracks down the motel room in question only to find it empty. Her voiceover ends the episode like this:

Okay, it's a long shot but I can't help myself. I used to think I knew what tore our family apart. Now I'm sure I don't. But I promise this: I will find out what really happened, and I will bring this family back together again. I'm sorry, is that mushy? Well, you know what they say: Veronica Mars, she's a marshmallow.

Due to some disappointments and issues during my childhood, I often tend to be guarded, distrustful, and afraid to get close to people. It's something that I've dealt with for my entire life, and there are times... like now, when it's 3 a.m. and I lie awake wondering if I will be loved, that I want to close myself off forever. That I need a hard, rigid type of strength to protect my heart.

But that's not what I need. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to be lonely. I don't want that "angry young woman shell."

And that's what this is about. The process of becoming a vulnerable, feeling, and gracious woman. One who is strong, but also open-hearted and approachable.

So yes. What I'm saying is that, I want to be a softie.