Becoming The Marshmallow

Shockingly Appalling Behavior: Maid of Dishonor

2009-06-21T22:31:00.015-04:00

Have you ever had an instance in which someone's behavior is so awful, that you wonder how individuals like that go through life? They're so oblivious to their own lack of decency and respect for others.

Today's shenanigans were so bad that they inspired this new blog series. I am going to recount my many, endless tales of being treated poorly by different people. One by one.

This weekend a friend of mine from college got married. Originally I'd planned on going with my husband, but he had to work. And then another friend from college said she would meet up with me and we would share a hotel room that the bride's other had already booked and was non-refundable. Then she told me she was unable to go at the last minute. Now, the last few weeks have been rather stressful and although I just got back tonight from 12 hours on the road, I have another obligation tomorrow morning. I was not expecting to see any other friends at this wedding and kind of wanted to stay home, but would have felt bad backing out of the hotel room. Plus, when I say I'm going to do something, I don't like to flake out.

So I went to this wedding. By myself. Another of the bride's friends ended up crashing in the room with me, and that was nice. We carpooled to the wedding and I find it fun to meet new people, especially when they are friends with a friend.

At the wedding, I was excited to find a small handful of people I knew from college. It was a great surprise. One of the girls is a good friend that I had not seen in a very long time. She and I got to catch up and I met her lovely husband for the first time.

As I was trying to leave the reception, the father of the bride said he had an emergency. The maid of honor, Abbie, needed a ride to the airport the next day to catch a flight back to Boston. He told me that the Charlotte, NC airport was about an hour away and that it was "kind of" on my way back to Florida. Abbie told me that she could leave "whenever."

Now, I thought it was a bit odd for the bride's parents to ask an out of town wedding guest with probably one of the longest drives home to drive an hour out of their way to take a stranger to the airport. I barely know the bride's parents, having only met them once before. However, they were very kind to me and I've been helped in the past by people I barely knew. So I felt I should pass along the favor. The parents seemed very grateful and relieved that this girl, a family friend was taken care of. Abbie and I agreed to meet back up at 11am the next day to leave. Her flight was at 2pm, so that seemed like a good plan.

The next morning I was getting my things together at the hotel when Abbie called around 1015am. She had a rather brusque tone when she told me that she'd been mistaken about her flight time. It actually left "a little sooner" than she'd thought. Also, that the airport was TWO hours away instead of one hour. She asked if I could "get there any sooner?" Now, if she had called at 9:30, everything would have been fine. But we were definitely cutting it close, as I'd planned to leave my hotel at 10:30. At this point, I still had to check out. "Getting there sooner" was not very likely with no advance notice.

I told her that I'd get to her hotel as soon as I could. But I did wonder why she did not check her correct flight time sooner.

At 10:58, I pulled up to the drive, and Abbie ran out and put her suitcase in the trunk of my car. I pulled out my phone's GPS to get directions to the airport. When I asked her what time her flight actually left, she said "1:07." The ETA to the airport said "12:57." It did not look like there was any way we'd make it. By this point, I was driving back toward the interstate. Now, I did not want to be rude, but I had almost a ten hour drive ahead of me. If there was no urgency for her to get back, and she would miss her flight, I really was not feeling very up to driving this girl to the airport. It was also double the drive that I thought it would be, and we were still near her hotel.

I asked her why we were driving to the airport, only for her to miss her flight. She told me she wanted me to take her anyways so that she could "try to make it" and if not, to try to change flights. Now, keep in mind, that Abbie really does not know me at all. It's not like we got to know each other at the wedding or anything. In fact, she'd barely said two words to me... until she needed a ride to the airport.

Abbie called the airline, to see if they had any later flights. They apparently were going to charge $500 for her to switch flights, and she was um, very unhappy about that.

Since it looked like she was now in no hurry to get to the airport, I expressed my concern about the time. My ten hour drive was going to be a twelve hour drive. I asked her if we could drive to a car rental branch and if maybe she would be willling to rent a car to drive herself, because there was really no reason for me to go to Charlotte, I am unfamiliar with the area, and had a very long day ahead of me. I am always willing to help someone, but in this case, it would have helped me greatly if I could just start heading south. From Asheville, Charlotte is two hours east. It made no sense for me to go in that direction.

Abbie responded in a haughty tone, "I don't want to drive." She then told me that I "should have said something the night before" if I could not take her to the airport. Keep in mind, the pretenses I was given when I agreed to do this were much different.

I suggested that if she did not want to pay the $500, that it would be far cheaper just to rent a car and drive back to Boston. It would be a long trip as well, but not nearly as costly. She responded, "That's what I was trying to avoid."

So this girl I don't really know was not willing to put in any effort whatsoever to get to the airport or get home, but was totally willing to impose greatly on a stranger who had to drive from North Carolina to FLORIDA that day??? What is wrong with her, I thought.

I asked her if there was anyone else who could possibly take her to the airport later in the day. She gave me a rather witheriing look, and told me that she might have been able to find someone to take her, if I had "said something earlier." She did say that her aunt lived in the area, but she made no effort to contact her own family to see if they could help her out. Yet, she was fine with imposing on a complete stranger.

Abbie also made several mentions of how I would be "screwing her" if I didn't drive her.

That pissed me off. I really, really, really wanted to pull over and tell Abbie to get the fuck out of my car. The only reason that I did not actually do that was to keep peace. After all, she's a close friend of one of my friends. Looking back, I should have dumped Abbie at a gas station and reminded her that her travel woes were really not my problem. Instead, I kept driving towards the airport.

On the way, Abbie told me that she was "sorry" to do this to me, because she had told the bride several times that she needed a ride to the airport, but that the bride had forgotten. (yes, because the maid of honor's travel arrangements are the bride's responsibility) She'd also accidentally booked the return flight originally to the wrong state. Yes, I'm serious. The WRONG STATE. She'd sent her flight information to the bride, and apparently, very late in the game, the bride noticed the error. Abbie then proceeded to tell me that the bride should have noticed that earlier, and we would not be in this predicament. That was why she was "confused" on the flight time. I also did not understand why she did not check the flight time earlier. This whole dilemma was completely her own fault. She never once admitted that.

Unless I'm mistaken, people are responsible for themselves. When I was a maid of honor for my best friend Jill a few years back, the last thing I wanted to do was inconvenience Jill or her family in any way. I flew into town, and got a rental car, so they would not have to worry about my transportation. In fact, instead of asking for rides, I ended up helping to pick up other members of the wedding party at the airport. Why didn't Abbie rent her own car or at least try to arrange for her transportation on her own, instead of expecting her friend the bride to do it for her.

Whenever I take a trip out of town, I always rent a car, so that I do not inconvenience my friends and family. Yes, it is an extra expense, but it is worth the preservation and upkeep of relationships.

Anyways, back to the passenger from hell. I could barely keep from losing my temper, so my method of dealing with Abbie was to just stay silent and glance at my GPS every five seconds. I really could not believe this was happening. It was like a bad dream, and I wish that was all it was. The girl even had the nerve to change my radio settings and tell me how to drive. In my opinion, if you're in someone ELSE'S car, that's a no-no.

I tried to go as fast as I could, partly because I just wanted to get this God awful experience over with. For reasons beyond me, I actually did attempt to get Abbie to the airport to catch her flight. The entire way, I swear, I drove 20 miles over the speed limit. The irony is that Abbie was okay with me risking my drivers license for her, but she refused to even consider getting a rental car to relieve me of this unwanted duty. She had not printed out her boarding pass online like most travelers who want to shave some time, so I suggested she call her airline and alert them to her situation. She really did not seem to have a clue what to do. I figured if she only had to get through security, she would increase her chance of making the flight.

During the car ride, she insisted that "I am totally planning on giving you money for gas." I told her that money was really not the issue. She said quietly, "I know. It's the time." Yet, she did not once offer any form of compromise to help me out at all or take responsibility to fix her own problems. Later, she said she would "send me a check." Yeah, because I really need $20 from her that bad.

Believe it or not, I made at least a two hour trip in one hour and 39 minutes. And for this, I got a rather casual "thanks" from Abbie on her way out of my car. The level of gratitude was such that of a teenager to her mother dropping her off at soccer practice after school.

Honestly, I was just glad to get that bitch out of my car.

How can someone be so delusional about everyone around them? If I had been in that situation, well, I would never get myself into a mess like that to begin with, but I digress. She just expected everything to be taken care of for her, even though she's supposedly an adult. If it had been me, I would have rather paid $200 for a taxi to the airport than ask some poor wedding guest to drive them. Also, I didn't think my suggestion to have her rent a car was bad at all. If not for my excessive speeding, there is NO WAY she would have made it to the airport on time. I almost wish I would have driven 40 the whole way so that she would have been out the $500. Not to sound boastful, but I completely saved her ass, and $500.

If someone did that for me, I would at the very least, send them a very nice gift or a check for AT LEAST $100. I also would have profusely thanked the person, and tried to give them whatever money I could for their trouble.

It's my understanding that Abbie did not urgently have to be back in Boston. Apparently she's an aspiring actress. Yeah, good luck with that. So it's not like she had a dying loved one to get back to or anything. She definitely didn't have a career to get back to on Monday like I do.

I'm not a mean person. If I was, I totally would have left this girl's ass somewhere in Hendersonville. She's over 18 and had a cell phone. It would have been a helpful life lesson for this obviously self absorbed twentysomething.

If she had been nice to me, NONE of this would have been an issue. But Abbie treated me like shit and wasted two hours of my time taken away from spending time with my husband and kitten. That was really uncool of her.

The sad thing is, she probably has no idea or semblance that she acted completely inappropriately towards me. Well, Abbie, the next person you do that to may not put up with that.

Soon after I left her at the airport, I received this text from Abbie.

"I made it! Jen, you're my hero. I can't thank you enough."

Umm, I really don't want to be your hero. Why don't you save yourself, girlfriend?

My response:

"Glad to have helped save you $500."

Smoking Hot Chef

2009-06-17T13:55:00.002-04:00

There's a new Chef in town... and he's easy on the eyes.

(Okay, he's my husband)

Check out his new blog here.

It's really good. I promise.

Book Review Time!

2009-05-23T18:38:00.004-04:00

I can't say I've ever really written a book review in my entire life, but recently I was lucky enough to receive a copy of a really great read for all you frugalists out there. I kinda feel like I'm in high school again.

10,001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget was written collaboratively by the writers of Wise Bread, a personal finance web site that has a blog of endless tips and life hacks, as well as links to online deals and forums for readers.

Right now the book is on Amazon for only $10 and some change. That's nothing compared to how much I can see it saving me.

I am less than halfway through the book and there are literally, so many good items in it that I can't remember them all.

Over the years, I've read everything from Rich Dad Poor Dad to Millionaire Next Door, and I still have yet to finish Your Money Or Your Life. They are all very good publications for big picture ideas, but there are some advantages 10,001 Ways to Live Large On A Small Budget kicks those other books' asses.

1) It was written by not one or two people, but TWENTY. These folks all come from many different walks of life. They are different sexes, races, ages, and live in different parts of the country, I'm basically getting valuable money saving advice from twenty people. How cool is that?

2) It's super practical. Saving money in every area of your life from travel to household items. So far one of my favorite tips is a recipe for how to make astringent. Currently I use the Body Shop's Tea Trea Oil line. Each bottle is $11 and lasts just over a month. What caught me about the recipe is that it calls for tea trea oil, which can be purchased cheaply online. I'm dying to try it. I'm guessing each bottle of homemade astringent would cost about $3 or $4. If I go through 12 bottles per year, that's $132 versus $48.

Which price would you rather pay for something that's essentially the same?

3) There is something for everyone. Maybe you don't use astringent, but want to save on grocery shopping. There are good secrets to saving at the check out.

I've been a frugalist and money saving maniac for quite some time. I CVS. I clip coupons and use my Entertainment book. And so far I have learned quite a bit of useful information from Wise Bread bloggers.

I give the book 5/5 stars.

Fuck Walmart

2009-04-25T18:36:00.011-04:00

Apparently big-time retailer Walmart will turn down customers who want to purchase items from the store.

I'm not kidding.

As I write this, I am furiously thinking of ways to help Walmart go out of business. It's been about six weeks since I've blogged anything, but I'm so pissed at Walmart that I feel this merits a blog.

That seems to be logical. I mean, If the company will not sell items to willing buyers, what is the purpose of doing business?

Now, I realize that there's no law against businesses refusing a transaction with anyone. But it's just plain stupid to turn down money.

Today I needed a few items including a paper shredder, a pet carrier, and a few other items for our new kitten.

To start off, I'm not a huge fan of Walmart. There's the past allegations of using child and sweatshop labor, mistreating and underpaying workers, and the giant helping close long-time mom and pop shops.

However, the prices are low. The stores in general suck ass. Many of the employees don't understand basic English, aisles are crowded, other customers have screaming children, and it takes forever to find what you need. Target is such a better store!

I decided to brave it anyways to look particularly for the pet carrier and the paper shredder.

So I went to Walmart.

After searching around for a half hour, I found what I needed including the carrier. I found the one below, but it seemed to be the only one in the pet aisle and was out of the box. It was near a spot with a price around $30. I was definitely willing to pay that, despite the fact that I would have preferred a model in the box and fresh.

So I get to the register (12) and the cashier notices that the pet carrier does not have a tag on it, which I hadn't noticed. She's not sure what to do. The woman calls over a manager who tells her that it's a "floor model" (Floor model, WTF? If that's a floor model, I'm the pope) and that the "pet manager" needs to approve the purchase and the price.

The cashier rang up my other items, so the customers behind me in line can check out. (Note: I actually suggested that to her, she really had no idea what to do) She also calls the pet department. Twice.

Ten minutes later and I'm very unhappy. It's been a really shitty week and this is not cool. I ask the cashier if there's anything she can do. She suggests I go to the manager's area and ask. Gee, how helpful of her.

I take the carrier over to the managers area and a woman takes it back to the pet department.

Fifteen minutes after that I'm still waiting. Finally, the manager who earlier told me I needed "approval" to purchase the carrier returned with it. He informed me that they could not find anyone with the pet department and since they could not find the item, I could not buy it. That they couldn't "make up a price" (Why didn't they check the web site to see if they could find the item?)

This, after spending 30 minutes just waiting for a price check.

Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous???

I told him that. I said I had been waiting a very long time and was upset that I did that only to be told I couldn't buy an item in a fucking store.

If you find my language offensive, please accept my apologies. I'm not a regular curser unless I'm absolutely livid.

I told the asshole manager that I wanted to return all the items I just purchased. Unfortunately the line for returns was massive. He very rudely replied "Well, go ahead and wait in line."

I left the store in tears, and told the greeter at the door that I would never go back there again.

As I pushed my cart to my car I could not believe what had just happened. I was so angry that I hurled my cart upside down in some grass near my parking spot. Sorry, Walmart, not using those cart return spots this time! This is a bit embarassing, but I was also in tears leaving and driving home.

While driving out of the parking lot, I called 1-800-Walmart to file a complaint with that store. I really wish I had noticed the asshole manager's nametag. He was a heavier set white guy with brown-gray hair in his mid to late 40s. I've NEVER called a corporate office of any store to complain before.

I then called the store I had just left to try and find out his name. I was told Roy was the assistant manager on duty.

Just a few hours later Roy actually called. The voice didn't sound like asshole-man from earlier. He "apologized" for my experience and said that they found another identical carrier in the box. (Genius Roy, why wasn't anyone able to find it when I was actually AT the fucking store???) Apparently the carrier was $16 and not $30. He told me he could "help" me out with the price. Like I needed help with buying a $16 carrier?

I told him how poor the customer service is at Walmarts in general, and that store in particular... and that I would be returning all the items I'd purchased that day. Why the hell would a store refuse to sell a customer an item that's ON THE SHELF???

He told me to stop by and see him when I was there.

I had great satisfaction in telling him that I would go out of my way to return the other items at another store.

Personally, I will never set foot inside that store again. And besides a trip to another location to return the stuff I bought and get my money back, I will never go to Walmart again. My husband and I have a Sam's Club membership. Sam's Club is unfortunately owned by Walmart. I really don't have a desire to renew our membership and give that horrible corporation our business.

And it is now my mission to destroy Walmart. I urge all of you who have pride and are sick of being treated with no respect and dealing with the nightmare that is Walmart to shop elsewhere. Target, Aldi's, Big Lots, local shops, wherever.

Why give over your hard earned money to a business that apparently doesn't want or need it.

Fuck Walmart.

I recommend to anyone who lives in the Tampa Bay area, NOT to give your business to this particular Walmart store:

8001 US Highway 19 N
Pinellas Park, FL 33781
(727) 576-1770 - Ask for assistant manager Roy!

Free Home Security System Quote

2009-03-07T14:13:00.001-05:00

At my old apartment, the unit across the hall was broken into while we slept. So I found this free quote for a Brinks system and I think I'll check it out. I'll let you know how it goes!

Get a Free Silicone Baking Pan

2009-03-03T18:17:00.001-05:00

Hello Readers!

2009-03-03T17:17:00.002-05:00

It's definitely been awhile!

Between having the Super Bowl in the Tampa area, and newlywed life, I have had to put blogging on the back burner the past few months.

Sorry guys!

I am still CVS'ing every week, and enjoying having a Gordon Food Service nearby our apartment.

Gordon Food Service is a regional distributor that's open to the public. It's kind of like Sam's Club or Costco, but without the membership fee.

On Sunday we bought an ENTIRE ribeye lipon beef portion. (this is the part of the cow that we get delicious ribeye and delmonico steaks from). It was about $4.55 lb or $69 for 15 lbs of meat. Tim, being the chef that he is, broke down the meat into 16 steaks ranging from 12 - 15 oz. and 15 oz of beef tips to use for cooking.

That equals about $4.50 per steak! Pretty great deal!

The one complaint we had was that the sign in the store said the beef was USDA Choice, but the plastic packaging said USDA Select, which is one step down.

We compared a steak from this batch to a more expensive flat iron steak. The quality was similar!

I highly recommend trying to find an entire ribeye or strip pieces of beef. Sam's Club also carries these larger pieces. They're quite a great price for what you get! Don't be afraid of having to cut the meat yourself. The outside of the meat may not be pretty, but the inside will have a beautiful color and marbling.

Get an Entertainment book for 50% off!!!

2009-03-03T17:14:00.001-05:00

These are fantastic! I used a discount last night when Tim and I had Italian food. $14 less we had to pay, and the waiter gave us free dessert!

$5,000? Really?

2009-01-20T20:31:00.004-05:00

Wow.

I just finished reading a CNN article that was a follow up to last week's plane crash into the Hudson River.

U.S. Airways is sending $5,000 to passengers in the crash-landed flight.

The airline is saving it will be "months" before passengers receive recoverable possessions. All items must be weighed, dried for eight weeks, and weighed again.

Now, why do they need to be dried for eight weeks? Please, U.S. Airways, this isn't like dry aging a steak.

And I highly doubt many passengers are going to see their stuff back. Good-bye cell phones, iPods, clothing, laptops, souvenirs. If I survived a freaking PLANE CRASH, I don't think I'd be too concerned about my bluetooth headset and wallet.

In case you live under a rock, a flight last Thursday from LaGuardia to Charlotte lost power to both engines, forcing an emergency landing on the Hudson River. All 155 people onboard survived.

And if I'd been one of the passengers, you can bet that $5,000 (oh yes, and another check with a flight refund) wouldn't really be enough to cut it. What did they give the pilot? An extra sick day?

Really, $5,000? The airline should at least give them $25,000 - $50,000. That's an absolutely terrifying ordeal, and U.S. Airways shouldn't shirk its responsibility with this assenine level of cheapness. That's like a guy trying to go dutch on a McDonald's date.

Adding up $5,000 times 155 passengers equals $775,000 plus let's say about $50,000 for the reimbursed flights. That's less than a million bucks. If U.S. Airways gave everyone $25,000 that's about $3.875 million.

Captain Chesley B. Sullenberger should get a huge raise and pension. He saved U.S. Airways' ass and tons of money. Imagine how much U.S. Airways would be out if everyone on the plane had perished. He should get compensated at least $1 million. With $25,000 for every passenger, flight refunds, and pilot compensation that's still under $5 million. Chump change compared to a barrage of wrongful death lawsuits.

Expecting? Get some free samples!

2009-01-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

Search for Grants

2009-01-18T13:51:00.002-05:00

You've probably seen news stories about people who received thousands of dollars for a housing or research grant. Well, here's a way to search for them yourself.

Using Up Those Extra Care Bucks

2009-01-18T12:21:00.004-05:00

Earlier this week I started checking out the CVS ads. There was a sneak peek ad scan on someone's site that was exciting to find.

As soon as I woke up I cruised moneysavingmom.com and printed out a $2 off one St. Ives product and a $2 off Excedrin Express Gels coupons. (Excedrin is on sale for $1.99 and St. Ives lotions are $2.99)

Since I had to pick up a prescription also, I went this morning around 10a.m.

Conveniently, there's a newspaper vending box right outside my closest CVS store. Talk about great!

I found a $1.50 coupon off Vaseline Intensive Rescue products as well as a $3 coupon for certain Bausch & Lomb eye drops.

When I paid for the prescription, a $3 off any 2 body lotions coupon printed out.

Vaseline lotion was on sale for $5.99.

CVS allergy tablets were free after ECBs for $3.69 (limit 2)

Nutra Trim gum was also free after ECBs for $3.79 (limit 2)

Maybelline makeup B1G1, and I needed new mascara, so I picked up 2 Great Lash packages for $4.79. I knew I'd seen a coupon recently, but I was outta luck this time.

Earlier this week I'd been emailed a $5 off a $30 purchase coupon from CVS.

The eye drops were $7.29 with $2 in ECBs.

Here's what went down at the register:

$40 total

-$1.50 Vaseline

-$2 Excedrin

-$3 Bausch & Lomb

-$2 St. Ives

-$3 CVS body lotion

-$5 CVS purchase of $30

-$14 ECBs from last trip

Total out of pocket - $8.31

ECBs earned: $17.56

True Romance

2009-01-16T13:14:00.003-05:00

Last night I got home from work after a hectic day just a few minutes before Tim pulled up.

When he walked in the door he had a rose, a bottle of wine, four hot dogs, and four taquitos. All from 7-Eleven.

I found it rather cute. Since I love hot dogs, it was a good surprise.

And what girl can turn down a large bottle of $11.99 Barefoot Merlot?

I know I can't.

Check Your Credit!

2009-01-15T18:18:00.000-05:00

It's 2009, and with the economy in the shape it's in, why not check your credit report for free??

This service will give you an extensive report of the last 24 months for free. I just used this link to discover that my credit score is 794 - which is apparently excellent.

A hint: you do have to enter a credit card number (for a free trial membership of credit bureau monitoring). Immediately after ordering the free credit report call 866-883-3309 to cancel the free trial. The whole process takes about ten minutes.

Rolling Into 2009

2009-01-08T18:16:00.001-05:00

I'm definitely rolling into the new year with some major life changes.

Met my husband over the summer at a mutual friend's wedding. We got engaged six weeks later and married last month. It was the easiest decision I've ever made in my entire life.

2009 has brought both joys and challenges to Tim and I. The day after we got married, we moved into a rented condo in St. Petersburg just a few blocks from my previous apartment.
A few weeks after we moved, Tim was hired at La Fogata, a Brazilian steak house in Gulfport, FL. He likes his job so far and we feel lucky that he found employment in this tough as nails economy. Tim is in charge of cooking all the meat that the restaurant serves. If you're not familiar with this type of food, it's churrasco style. It's an all-you-can-eat meat smorgasboard, where diners are served slices of delicious meat right at their table.

Neither of us want to have to work our entire lives. Ideally, we'd like to retire earlier rather than later. Our primary goals are saving as much money as possible. We'd like to purchase a foreclosed home at the end of the year, fix it up, then sell it. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Prices are still rock bottom, so getting a great deal shouldn't be too hard. Tim does remodeling work so we can save quite a bit of money doing this and build equity and value in the house.

We've also tossed around other ideas like catering on the side, and even making our own furniture. Over the New Year holiday, Tim acquired a nice table saw and a router. He's been tinkering with the new toys this week and I think furniture crafting is something he'll enjoy.

I've drawn up a preliminary budget, and with our current incomes, we should be able to save a very substantial amount of money (about $1,000 per month). That's not even including my 10% kicked into my 401k. That's a huge relief to me!

So all in all, 2009 may be okay for the Moore family despite the crumbling economic infrastructure around us.

Fill out survey, get free movie tickets!

2009-01-06T13:19:00.001-05:00

Kitchen Bargains

2008-12-29T12:24:00.008-05:00

Happy post-holidays to everyone!

I've been enjoying perusing all the great after-Christmas sales. Since I'm so excited about some of my finds, I wanted to share them.

This deal, I will confess, I found a few days before Christmas. Tim really wanted a grill, and saw this model at Target for $84. On the ibuybarbecues.com site, it runs for $188.95! I told him we probably couldn't afford it. THEN, he got hired as a restaurant cook! So I ran out on my lunch hour last week to get it for him. We made ribeyes last night and they were fantastic! (That's mostly due to his culinary skills though, but I will give the grill some credit) Unfortunately, I didn't realize how expensive propane tanks are! $60 later, I felt robbed. Thanks Blue Rhino!

Out at Big Lots, Tim and I found a Rival Seal-A-Meal unit for $32. After stopping at Sam's Club to buy a box of bulk rolls of Food Saver bags (you can use any brand) we were rolling. It works great, and we were happy that it's much cheaper than other units we've seen out and about. ($100 plus)

Tim has also really wanted a KitchenAid stand mixer. Oddly enough my aunt offered to buy us one as a wedding gift, but I told her that gifts weren't necessary. Hopefully she'll stick by my rule. Since we eloped, I did not want family or friends feeling pressured to buy or give us anything. Our parents have given us wedding gifts, and that's okay. But extended family members I hope don't feel like they need to do that.

During a one day Amazon.com sale last Friday, I saw this pro 600 model for $279.99. Right now on the site, it is going for $349. There is a $50 rebate, so that brings down the price to $219.99. That's the cheapest I've ever seen a KitchenAid mixer, that particular model.

It's the six quart all-metal 10-speed stand mixer with a powerful 575-watt motor. I was so psyched about finding this deal, that I spilled to Tim, even though I was hoping it would be a surprise.

The next day his mother told him she also purchased one. Apparently she's going to return it and buy us some pots and pans.

All in all, for these three items we paid $335. That's less than the regular price of just the mixer alone. I estimate that we saved about $300 with these bargain finds. I can definitely live with that. =)

New Year's Goal?

2008-12-21T16:02:00.002-05:00

To save money, my husband Tim has promised to quit smoking. Many Americans have a goal for the new year to stop lighting up, and many fail. While one of my coworkers is giving Chantix a shot, NicoDerm CQ is another popular option. Here's a link to get a free sample and a $7 coupon. Happy holidays and good luck with whatever resolution you may have for 2009!

All This Stuff Was Free

2008-12-21T12:21:00.003-05:00

All of these items were FREE at CVS today. This morning I took trips to two different stores.

At the first one, I used a coupon to transfer a prescription and get a $25 gift card. I also had $50 in Extra Care Bucks. I bought about $60 worth of merchandise that was free after ECBs and used the gift card. Paid $0 out of pocket.

Since that CVS was missing a few items, I went to a second location. I stocked up on free Listerine, Right Guard deodorant, Arm & Hammer Essentials cleaner, and Complete contact solution. I attempted to use my new ECBs but the cashier had some issues and couldn't ring up $15 of them. Still, with the gift card, I paid $10.91 out of pocket... for a total of $127.60 worth of merchandise before tax.

I did have two coupons, for BeneFiber and Zantac 150, so I saved $3 on top of that, and used the overage on Hawaiian Punch and Sunkist orange soda for Tim and I.

Total ECBs earned today: $80.

Not too bad for a Sunday morning, eh?

My Wedding Cost $303.50

2008-12-16T22:00:00.010-05:00

I am now Mrs. Moore.

Tim and I had discussed wedding possibilities since we got engaged in September. Neither of us were real jazzed about having a conventional ceremony and reception.

So we went to the Pinellas County Courthouse in Florida, where we both now live, last Thursday. (That's why I've been absent from blogging the past few days) It was all that we could hope for.

Instead of spending close to $30,000 on a wedding, we spent $303.50: $111 for the license and six official notarized copies, $30 to have a Deputy Clerk perform the two-minute ceremony, and $12.50 for a commemorative paper framed portrait with the county logo on it. Awesome.

I swear, this sign really was on the door to the ceremony room.

You could say this is a bit hokey, but I'm glad we got married this way. It was simple and just the two of us.

The wedding day is supposed to celebrate the love of two people. I think we did just that.

Afterwards, we ate lunch at the beach and spent the night at a resort. (That was another $150 for both of those bringing the total to just over $300)

The next day we both moved into a rented condo that I was originally going to live in alone.

That was our honeymoon. =)

I did not realize how popular this option really is. At least three of my coworkers wed at the courthouse. Another one wants to do that with her boyfriend. (One guy said he and his now-wife were working as aerial photographers. They met at the courthouse in their flight suits, got married, went through a McDonald's drive thru, and then went back to work)

It was a little strange having a wedding without friends or family present, but since I'm a rather private person about this sort of thing, it was more comfortable for me. (Writing, not so much since it feels more anonymous somehow)

If you are engaged or comtemplating marriage, it's a route I highly recommend. No stressful planning, high costs, or complications.

Paydirt at CVS

2008-12-09T21:30:00.005-05:00

I am extremely happy right now.

Last night I took Tim to CVS to spend some of our Extra Care Bucks. We stocked up on soda, disposable dishware (because of the move this weekend), and a few other items. The cashier was very friendly. We chatted about bargain web sites and I explained how excited I am to get to CVS for all the great deals.

Then, he made my day.

He said "We're having a really great sale the week of December 21st. I think I have the circular around here somewhere."

The cashier pulled out THE circular. And he gave it to me.

"You can have this one," he said.

Tim and I took our purchases outside and I just sat in the car in disbelief. I had the CIRCULAR for a sale weeks from now at CVS. And the deals ARE good.

So I want to share them with you. There are lots of free items after ECB deals! Happy shopping!

These deals are good Sunday, Dec. 21 and Monday, Dec. 22 only.

Listerine Antiseptic 16.9 oz - $2.99 - Free after $2.99 in ECBs (limit 5)

Sally Hansen Lacquer Shine nail color - $5.99 - Free after $5.99 in ECBs (limit 2)

L'Oreal HIP Metallic eye shadow duos - $6.99 - Free after $6.99 in ECBs (limit 2)

ThermaCare neck to arm heatwrap - $2.49 - Free after $2.49 in ECBs (limit 3)

Right Guard Professional Strength solid 1.8 oz or aerosol deodorant 6 oz - $6.00 - Free after $6.00 in ECBs (limit 5)

Zipfizz energy mix 3 ct - $5.99 - Free after $5.99 in ECBs (limit 1)

Excedrin Express Gels 20 ct - $3.99 - Free after $3.99 in ECBs (limit 1)

Alteril Sleep Aid 30 ct - $9.99 - Free after $9.99 in ECBs (limit 1)

Halls Naturals 25 ct - $2.59 - Free after $2.59 in ECBs (limit 1)

EAS AdvantEdge bar 2.11 oz - $1.69 - Free after $1.69 in ECBs (limit 1)

Zantac 150 8 ct - $4.99 - Free after $4.99 in ECBs (limit 1)

EAS AdvantEdge shake 4 pk. - $7.49 - Free after $7.49 in ECBs (limit 1)

Benefiber drink mix 16 ct. - $7.29 - Free after $7.29 in ECBs (limit 1)

Iceland Health Joint Relief 60 ct - $29.99 - Free after $29.99 in ECBs (limit 1)

Slimquik 2 pk. - $4.99 - Free after $4.99 in ECBs (limit 1)

Sleepinal 32 ct - $8.49 - Free after $8.49 in ECBs (limit 5)

Liquor On The Cheap

2008-12-06T08:39:00.003-05:00

We now have 14 bottles of something called Kohala Bay Dark Rum, imported from Jamaica in our pantry. This afternoon I asked Tim if he could try and get me some empty boxes from Gateway Liquor. I've done that before. Liquor stores usually have a stash of nice, sturdy boxes for desperate movers like myself.

About an hour later, he sent me a text that said, "They're out of boxes, but will save some for us. We're also getting a housewarming discount."

What?

Tim is a pretty big talker, and seems to attract anyone and everyone into conversation. When he went to the store, he spent some time chatting with the owner and telling him about the move. So the guy offered him an entire case of 750 mL bottles for $76. And he threw in an extra two bottles for free. We have no idea how much this stuff goes for, but cheap bottles seem to be about $12 each. So that much alcohol retails for about $168 -- about a 55% discount.

Tim always surprises me with just how nice people are to him when he simply talks to them.

The moral of the story?

Giving someone a few minutes of your time and attention can be very worthwhile.

A Thrifty Gift Idea

2008-12-05T12:00:00.001-05:00

This year, I decided to take things easy when it comes to shopping for Christmas gifts for my parents. My folks are divorced, and my mother has remarried. They are all in their 50s and 60s, and do not need another knick knack, sweater, or kitchen gadget. I'm the same way, and I'm only 26! We've mostly been exchanging checks or gift cards.

So I ordered Entertainment books for both my mom and step dad, and dad. They all love to eat out. I've owned my own for about four years now, and they ALWAYS pay for themselves many times over. Most of the coupons are for 50% off or buy one get one free, whether it's for a dinner entree or a park admission.

I have the St. Petersburg/Clearwater edition and it has fast food to formal restaurants, retail stores, movie theaters, local attractions such as Sea World, even coupons for dry cleaning and oil changes. The book is never far away from me. The laundry and dry cleaning discounts can help you save hundreds of dollars a year if you have nicer attire that can't go in the washing machine, or just don't feel like doing laundry.

If you go out to eat once a week, you can save $6-$15 off your bill each time. That's a savings of $312 to $780 alone... all for an initial purchase of a $20-$30 discount book. You can also go to Entertainment.com and book discounted rental cars, or print out MORE restaurant coupons.

Entertainment books are great gift ideas, and right now they're having a $10 off and free shipping promotion. I've put a link to the site below if anyone is interested in ordering a book for themselves or for a stocking stuffer! Why not help someone save some of their hard earned dollars this holiday season?

Operation Phone Home

2008-12-04T12:19:00.008-05:00

As we are in the thick of the holiday season, I encourage you all to think of others -- particularly troops overseas. Active military members are stationed everywhere from Afghanistan, Iraq, Germany, and Korea.

For three years I lived in El Paso, Texas... home of Fort Bliss. During my time there I got to know many Army men and women -- many who had been deployed to Iraq or were training to go there. One friend, Chris, specifically asked me to send him magazines, DVDs and baked goods. He would write emails to family and friends back stateside about his challenges and life in the Middle East. The guy seemed pretty lonely at times, missing everyone.

During their off time, Chris said he would read, watch movies, and attempt to use the unreliable internet service. It was hot, dusty, and foreign.

I found an organization that sends pre-paid phone cards to soldiers, that they can use to call loved ones. If you're looking for a way to support our troops this holiday season, consider Operation Phone Home. With a $15, a soldier can talk on the phone for 45 minutes. That's a small amount to give to someone who gives so much to you. Please consider making a $15, $20, $40, $60, or $100 donation to USO. Thanks and Happy Holidays! If you'd like to do so, click on the link below.

(FYI, this is a real organization and is backed by the Better Business Bureau. And don't forget, donations are tax deductible!)

Not Quite Recovered

2008-12-04T08:35:00.004-05:00

This morning I woke up early, so I decided to write down some of my Thanksgiving weekend thoughts.

My fiance Tim finally met my Dad. I think he likes Tim more than me. Dad showed Tim his rifle collection, insisted he ride up front with him on the way to dinner, and told him more about his Navy days than he's ever told the rest of the family. (Apparently Dad once kicked a shark in the nose in the Bahamas)

While other Americans were in Vietnam, my father was deep sea fishing in the Keys and in the Caribbean. Not a bad route to go.

My grandfather had a little "side business" during retirement. Living near a number of golf courses, he would collect discarded balls. He'd then clean them, put them in egg cartons by the dozen, and resell them. I remember seeing that handmade sign out by the road of their house as a child. When he became too inactive, Dad took over the tradition.

He taught our old black lab "Blackie" to retrieve golf balls to help with the venture. What I didn't know is that Dad has gotten himself out of a few situations with golf course owners and managers. Or that he wears camouflage hunting gear to go out "balling" and he'll go to great lengths not to get caught.

According to him, he's known as the Ball Hocker.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T17:56:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to wish all of you a happy and safe holiday this Thanksgiving! Whether you're going to be spending the day with friends and family, working, or flying solo I hope you have a great one!

In honor of this special time, I found a special offer to send out free e-cards to those you care about. I sent out a few fun animated ones to coworkers and the good thing about My Fun Cards is that you don't have to register, there are more than 1,000 to choose from, and they're totally free.

If you'd like to send out your own personalized e-card, here's the link:

Enjoy some turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce!

New Year's Challenge 2009

2008-11-26T13:49:00.009-05:00

Wealth does not always come from income, but from the way money is handled. I am not rich and I do not make six figures. However, I am in better financial shape than many people who appear much wealthier than myself. When a paycheck comes in, I can spend it frivolously or unwisely... or make the most of what I have.

Some background information about me: my fiance Tim is currently looking for a job. He has significant student loans that will start repayment in a few months. We cannot both live off of my salary and it's a hard reality fo face. I mean, if I was single, I wouldn't really have to scrutinize my situation at all. But until Tim finds work, I really need to not spend any unnecessary funds. He's my partner-to-be and we both need to work together to get through these difficult times.

Tomorrow CVS is having a really great sale (yes on Thanksgiving) with quite a few free items after Extra Care Bucks rewards. I want to go, and many of the items are essentials that I purchase frequently... But... there will be temptation to purchase free stuff that we will not use (ie: makeup products, 5 Hour Energy, toys) Not to mention the fact that it would mean getting up at 5:30 a.m. So we'll see if I end up there or not.

There are a few electronics that I've been eyeing. One is an ultraportable laptop. This one in particular... (The ASUS EEE PC 901) It's so cute and little, and is in the cheaper realm of computers at around $350.

My own computer is on its last legs and I would love to use some of my tax refund next year to buy one. However, Tim has two Sony Vaio's both in good condition. I will make due using his.

In our office, coworkers and I have been checking out a nifty Audiovox Digital Photo Frame / Message Board. It's really cool. At Best Buy it's $130. This afternoon I discovered it online for $70 plus $8.95 shipping. Part of me was drawn to the idea of ordering it for my mom and stepfather. It's such a great price! But is it? You can put photos and a dry erase board on the fridge for a lot less than $78.95!

My goal for 2009 is to consciously spend wisely instead of thoughtlessly buying things I think I need, but really don't.

Here's what I'm going to do: whenever I'm considering a large purchase (something non-essential over $20) I will NOT buy the item when I would normally. Instead, I will post it on here, and YOU will tell me if I should buy it or not. Your comments will be my consumer conscience. Please help me in this ambitious process of becoming a better spender and saving more money. Thank you guys and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Trippin' At CVS

2008-11-24T16:13:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I made out like a bandit at CVS.

While browsing online in the morning, I caught the online circular, which advertised these deals:

Buy 1 Maybelline Mineral Power Liquid Foundation at $8.99, Get $8.99 ECBs (Limit 1) Free after ECBs

Buy 1 Complete Multi-Purpose Solution (12 oz.) at $8.99, Get $8.99 ECBs (Limit 1) Free after ECBs

Buy 1 Right Guard Professional Strength Deodorant (solid 1.8 oz. or aerosol 6 oz.) at $7.99, Get $7 ECBs (Limit 5) $0.99 after ECBs

Buy 1 Crest Pro-Health Whitening Toothpaste (4.2 oz.) at $3.49, Get $3.49 ECBs (Limit 2)

Tim had just mentioned how he was running out of contact solution, so I decided to act. Usually when I get to CVS it's on a Tuesday or a Thursday, and all the good merchandise has been picked over. Of course, the free items are out of stock by that time.

So this time I went early on Sunday morning around 10:20 a.m. Armed with a $1 ECB and a .75 coupon for the toothpaste.

Here's what I bought:

*1 Maybelline Mineral Powder Liquid Foundation (I use one bottle foundation for under the eyes and on blemishes and my current one needed to be thrown out)

*2 bottles of the contact solution

*2 cans of the aerosol deodorant

*2 tubes of the toothpaste

*500 pack of generic CVS cotton swabs for $3.19

My total was $55 and I got $47 back in Extra Care Bucks. With the store card, customers can use ECBs like cash for everything except alcohol, tobacco, gift cards, prescriptions and a few other items. In the store, I also snagged a coupon to get a $25 gift card with a transferred prescription. I do have one, so next time I refill it I'll just bring it back to CVS from Target (where I got a $30 gift card for transferring it to that store).

Currently I have about $45 in Target cards and $47 in CVS ECBs. Hopefully in a few weeks, I'll also have that $25 CVS gift card. That's more than $100 to spend at the two stores. I'm trying to think of staples, things that I need, to spend this money on. Holiday gifts? Groceries? Household items? I am moving in a few weeks and could use a new trash can, closet organizers, cleaning supplies, and dinnerware -- as right now I'm using my room mate's dishes.

Over the next few weeks I'm definitely going to be scouring the ads for ECB deals on stuff I really need and for great sales at Target to use the gift cards on. Any suggestions?

The Weekend And Beyond

2008-11-22T12:43:00.002-05:00

It's been a relaxing weekend so far. I've stayed home, eaten leftovers, and watched almost the entire season of 30 Rock.

Tim made a leg of lamb earlier in the week and I've been picking away at that ever since. It's delicious. I've had it with potatoes, in a sandwich, and with A1 steak sauce.

Did some laundry, and today I need to make some phone calls, and work a little bit on a project.

It feels so good to get things accomplished, especially since Tim and I are going to Buffalo this week to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I'm also hoping to see some old friends if our schedules work out.

I hope this trip isn't too stressful. In the past few years I've come to despise airports and flying. I'd much rather drive if I'm able to, but since I live in Florida there's no way I can efficiently road trip to New York state.

What are you doing for the holidays? Are you looking forward to it or do you find yourself anxious about it?

Wheeling & Dealing

2008-11-19T18:41:00.008-05:00

Yesterday my fiance and I ate lunch at a fancy steakhouse for a total of $24.60 (including tip) and we got steak, prime rib, calamari, and sodas.

How, you ask?

Restaurant.com

I purchased three $25 certificates to local restaurants for $2 each. Frequently, the site has promotional deals if you sign up for alerts to get discounts. Usually $25 certificates are $10. There are restrictions, but if you plan enough, it's not a big deal. (ie: must have a minimum $35 tab excluding alcohol, must have two or more in your party, not valid on holidays, etc.)

My credit card is through Citi, and there's a great rewards program called the Thank You Network. I go there all the time and if you link to other sites through the Thank You Network, you get bonus points. Whenever you purchase anything from Restaurant.com you get 15 (yes FIFTEEN) pounts for EVERY dollar you spend.

If you purchase an Entertainment book through the Thank You Network's link, you get 21 points per dollar spent on the book. Since mine was 20 dollars, that's 420 points right there.

Through the Thank You Network I've cashed my points in so far for a $330 plane ticket and three $100 retail store gift cards. I've had the card for two years.

Today I went to Target on my lunch break. I received coupons in the mail to get a $10 gift card for a new or transferred prescription and a $20 gift card if you signed up for the Pharmacy Rewards program. (I'm still not exactly sure what that is) I did have to open yet another Target credit card but I walked out with $30 worth of Target gift cards for only buying a $9 prescription that I would have to purchase regardless.

Because I was hungry, I did stop at the Target snack area and got the hot dog/soda combo for $2.68. Much cheaper than a McDonald's meal and I did not have to make an extra stop. I love store snack shops. When I was a little girl our local Kmart had a restaurant in it that I liked to eat at. I've often munched on a double cheeseburger from the McD's inside Wal-Marts as I strolled down the aisles late at night.

Sam's Club is my favorite. There's a great deal for $2.50 which includes a HUGE slice of pizza and a monster drink. I like to grab something on Saturday afternoons when Tim (my dude) and I are stocking up.

Free Betty Crocker Coupons

2008-11-18T11:52:00.002-05:00

Recently, I've become a coupon hawk and have found that there are plenty online to be had!

Betty Crocker just came out with a great new offer that you'll want to take advantage of if you like their baking products. Sign up for the Betty Crocker email newsletter by clicking on the image above and you'll receive a free $10 coupon booklet in the mail! I love these types of offers; who would turn down free coupons?!

I checked out the web site and there are tons of yummy looking recipes and even video tutorials on how to make different things like castle cakes and other fun stuff.

Stupidity At Its Finest

2008-11-16T12:06:00.012-05:00

I'm a huge Suze Orman watcher and personal finance book enthusiast. Every Sunday morning I watch the previous evening's show that I've DVR'd . This most recent episode definitely takes the case for shock value.

The first guest Dawn was from California. She and her husband make a combined $9,000 a month, but have living expenses totalling $19,000. They have more than $230,000 in CREDIT CARD DEBT. That's more than doctors have in student loans from medical school! When Tim and I heard that number, our jaws both dropped. Tim was so disturbed by that, he had to excuse himself to have a cigarette. I was incredulous. More information on Dawn: her family bought a home for more than $300,000 and now have a mortgage and home equity loans for $900,000.

Dawn loves vacations and openly admitted a jewelry addiction. She'd sent in a home video of her remodeled lavish home that she and her husband have no right in owning. She has a 7 year old daughter who has no idea mommy and daddy are lying about their lifestyle.

Suze's advice to Dawn was to 1) sell the home immediately with everything in it 2) move into a small 2 bedroom apartment 3) she and her husband should both get second jobs 4) paying off creditors as quickly as possible 5) saving up more money and eventually buying another home they can afford.

Dawn's reaction "I don't think that's gonna happen. I'm not ready to give this up."

This woman also seemed to think that having an upside-down home she can't afford is better than paying off the credit card debt.

What a moron. That's really all I have to say.

Although I have to add that we've all made financial mistakes, but that we need to own our decisions and the consequences.

My student loans are particularly a sore spot for me. I should not have student loans anymore. From 2000-2004 I attended a small private college which cost about $10,000 per year including tuition, room and board. My parents are divorced and my father helped me out every year.

Here's where I went wrong. Because I received financial aid, I only needed to borrow $6,000 to $8,000 per year in loans. However, my father would write me a check for 4-5,000 as a gift. Really, I should have taken out a loan for $2-3,000 per year. Instead, I maxed out my student loan allotment and used the money from Dad to live on. Was I careful with it? Yes and no.

Since age 16, I worked as an office clerk at an engineering company. My first wage was $5.25 an hour. During summers through college I had temp jobs at a bank headquarters, as a waitress, and interning at a TV station in West Virginia while working at a dry cleaners. My checking account had a healthy balance at all times from then until now.

Thinking back, I could have lived quite a bit more frugally. I made quite a few trips to the mall to pick up nice clothes, bought electronics like fancy cameras, and ate out more than I should have. Had I saved that money and taken out less in student loans I would be debt free today. My college buddies all thought I was comfortable, as I always had cash for Eat 'N Park and going out to Ben's on Thursday nights. At one point, my ex-boyfriend saw that I had $11,000 in my checking account and saw me as a gift horse. I have no idea where all that money went. That scares me.

If I could give myself a grade on money management in my teens and early 20s it would be a B- . My student loans are pretty manageable, even though out of college I paid $300 a month which is difficult for someone making $1600 a month. I really should have taken about $15,000 in loans instead of $30,000. Last year I was able to net $15,000 with the condo sale so that leaves me now with $8,000 left to go. Imagine if I had only taken out $15,000 in loans. I'd be out of debt. Hindsight really is 20/20.

Lucky for me, my debt is manageable and the payments are well within my budget. Dawn's is much more serious. Dawn, you need a reality check. You need to listen to Suze.

Suze, just to let you know, my favorite food is also hot dogs.

Those Sneaky Drug Makers!

2008-11-15T15:01:00.002-05:00

For most of my life, I've felt very self conscious about my face. The rest of my body has this great, soft, perfect skin... But my face is another story. Since college, acne has wreaked havoc on my appearance.

In the past few years I've seen two dermatologists. The first one was a total crook. He tried to sell me obscenely expensive skincare products in his office. The first time I fell for it. I bought a "specially medicated facial soap" for $26 from him. A month later I found the exact same soap for $8.95 on a dermatology products web site. When I slyly asked him whether I could purchase "his" soap online, he told me I could not because it was manufactured special for his office. Liar... (Note: I ordered one of the other bottles online and the ingredients were the same)

The same guy tried to prescribe me Tazorac cream, but my old employers' insurance was not great and it would have cost $150. No thanks.

A year later, I moved to a different state and saw a new dermatologist. He's fantastic. He also prescribed Tazorac cream (You apply it at bedtime. I'm not sure what's in it, it does cause some flakiness, but it sure did clear up my skin) On my new insurance plan, Tazorac was $20.

One year after that, which was a month ago, I noticed the return of the zits. So I called up the same doctor and he called in another prescription for me. The price was the same. The tubes look identical -- except for one thing. Tazorac tubes went from 60 grams to 30 grams. Nice!

It's interesting how I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't still had the old tube. Apparently even pharmaceutical companies are trying to squeeze every penny out of us. Gee, I never would have considered that before.

Not Keanu Reeves' Matrix

2008-11-13T15:44:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've read quite a few articles and lists of Best Cars for Fuel Efficiency. Usually the Toyota Prius makes the rankings... But my car is never on these lists. I have no idea why.

Several months ago, my Ford ZX2 was totaled. Panicked with only two days to find and purchase a new car I went to the Toyota dealership. I negotiated a 2008 Toyota Matrix with power locks, windows, and cruise control for about $15,600 plus tax and title fees. (Note: I saw a 2007 model with 28k miles on it going for $17,986 on Craigslist, another 2006 model with 26k went for $16,999)

Originally I'd wanted a used vehicle, but with so little time to research and shop around I couldn't risk buying a lemon. Plus, my insurance company gave me much more for my car than what I would get for it in a private sale. Along with a generous gift from my father, and using part of my savings, I managed to put down about $10,000 on a brand new car.

The Matrix has been my mode of transportation for more than six months and I have to say: I LOVE IT. The gas mileage comes close to 40 mpg highway. The wagon/SUV crossover is built on a Corolla chassis. The Corolla constantly makes most reliable and best car lists. Unlike the Corolla, the Matrix has a lot more room inside! The backseat folds down and you can transport smaller pieces of furniture. The back is also plastic instead of cloth, making for easy clean-up.

The drivers seat is a bit higher up, giving me that SUV type feel. Since purchasing the car, I've noticed quite a few Matrix's on the road, which makes me smile.

Two Thumbs Up For $2.99 Wine

2008-11-03T14:24:00.004-05:00

About a month ago, several Aldi stores opened in the Tampa Bay area. The last time I was at an Aldi's was in college. The chain prides itself on very low prices, with streamline operations with cashiers, but no baggers because customers must bring their own bags or boxes. Getting a cart at the store requires a quarter deposit to encourage shoppers to return them to corrals.

Tim and I stopped by after looking at some very interesting foreclosed homes. This includes one in a rather shady neighborhood. Hoodlums had kicked in the door several times and left spray paint messages. We spotted a few crack pipes inside and someone had actually left their weave on the front steps. Seriously?

Anyways, on the way back home we stopped at Aldi. Along with lunch meat, bread, chocolate eclairs, and flour we spotted Winking Owl brand wine. I'd never heard of it before but it cost $2.99 a bottle. I picked up merlot and shiraz. The merlot is good. It doesn't taste like typical cheap vino. Winking Owl honestly tasted as good as $25-$35 bottles I've had in the past few months. Tim thought it was better than the $5.99 wine we also bought at Aldi.

I'm excited to try the shiraz, and the cabernet sauvignon, which the store did not have while we were there. In other good news, another new Aldi store opened up even closer to my apartment!

Craigslist

2008-10-30T13:02:00.012-04:00

Most of you have probably perused Craigslist at one time or another. I've used it numerous times to get an apartment or a roommate. Two of those experiences have been decent for me in the roommate department.

What is Craigslist, if you don't already know?

The service was founded in 1995 by Craig Newmark for the San Francisco Bay Area. After incorporation as a private for-profit company in 1999, Craigslist expanded into nine more U.S. cities in 2000, four each in 2001 and 2002, and 14 in 2003. As of September 2007, Craigslist has established itself in approximately 450 cities in 50 countries.

Basically the site offers free or cheap classified ads, for real estate, furniture, stuff, jobs, and personals.

I remember back in the day when Craigslist was only in "big" cities like D.C. Eventually CL even expanded to the city I used to live in, El Paso.

For used items, Craigslist rules. I've bought my couch on the site. Most recently... a Select Comfort Sleep Number bed.

This mattress retails in a queen size anywhere from $1600 - $2200. For what's really a very fancy air bed. So when I searched CL, and discovered a 5000 model that claimed to be in "excellent condition" and six months old for $500 I jumped at it. I called Heidi and asked if she'd take $450. She accepted. This woman told me she worked at a tattoo shop and would have her brother take apart the bed, then pick her up to deliver it to me. Interesting. She lived in Palm Harbor, which is north of where I live in St. Petersburg. This was at 5 p.m.

In the meantime, I went in search of Lysol to disinfect the mattress, a good mattress cover (since it was a used mattress after all) and some queen sized sheets. First, I stopped at a Sears Essentials store. For a year now, I'd thought it was some kind of Sears furniture outlet. It is not. Apparently it used to be a Kmart and has kept the same type of store items. But... the store is closing in January so it will be liquidating inventory soon. The sheets were rather expensive for the cheap quality, and the mattress covers were $30. I passed on those. There was some Lysol priced at $2.79 but when I checked out at the register - discovered it was on sale mysteriously for $1.81. Not bad.

Next stop: TJ Maxx, where I procured hotel style striped 350 thread count chocolate brown sateen sheets for $29.99. This store did not have any mattress covers.

Since Target was in the same shopping plaza, I ended up there and bought a Rival 6-cup rice cooker for $12.99 and a mattress cover for $29.99. Just can't win on the mattress cover.

Rushing home, I didn't want to miss Heidi's arrival. It was now 6:15 p.m. My fiance Tim was at home breaking apart and storing whole chickens and an entire pork loin we'd found at Sams Club.

I decided to call Heidi. Somehow she'd ended up near Eckerd College, which is 15 minutes south of where I live... Hmm...

So Tim and I waited as he cooked grouper, pasta, and a balsamic tomato sauce. When supper was ready, I gave her another call. She was almost here!

Five minutes later: she had accidentally gotten onto the Howard Frankland Bridge ie: I-275 to Tampa. Uh oh.. She had to turn around.

Tim and I ate dinner.

Heidi, her brother, and her brother's girlfriend arrived around 9 p.m. They quickly brought up all of the parts for the mattress. Some of the foam pieces to be inserted were ripped but still usable. The air pump had some nicks on it. Six months old my ass, Tim and I thought. The pillowtop mattress cover was dirty. I Lysol'ed the heck out of it and after we put the mattress together, I immediately zippered up the waterproof cover from Target. That was a good purchase!

Still, I couldn't believe that someone from this area would have this much trouble getting to my address, which is in a fairly central location. AND they had a GPS. Seriously?

In order to defray the cost of this pricey mattress, which is, I might add, comfortable to the tune of $450 but certainly not $1600, I decided to sell some items on Craigslist.

Nintendo Wii, Wii Fit, & Guitar Hero III with wireless controller - $375
My old 8" memory foam mattress - $50
A Panasonic 19" TV/VCR combo - $20

The day I placed these ads, I sold the TV. The guy was a new dad/family man type who wanted a junk television for their patio. He had little trouble getting to my apartment.

One day later, another man was all set to come to look at the Nintendo Wii items. I was at work, so I asked Tim to meet up with him. That seemed to go alright, except for the fact that the guy had questions about the system and I wasn't answering the phone so Tim had to stall... He set up the Wii for this potential buyer, and he ended up staying at our house for an hour and a half. He did buy everything though.

That evening a guy named Ray was going to come check out the mattress. He had told me it was for a female friend who had just moved to Clearwater. Ray had a Sarasota area code on his phone, and he was incredibly hard to understand. He made little to no sense, and was honestly pretty weird. We made arrangements for him and his "friend"? to come to our house around 7 p.m.

At approximately 8:45, Ray called to say that they were on their way. At 9:15 he called again to say that he, too, had accidentally gotten onto the bridge to Tampa. If a driver passes my complex they have no choice but to get on I-275 to Tampa. However, this is very obvious and there are signs everywhere. Ray also sounded strung out on... Something. Drugs? Beer? I'm not quite sure but at this point, I felt uncomfortable with the idea of this weird person coming to my house at 9:30 at night. I told him this and he still kept trying to keep me on the phone to give him directions. I'm selling a mattress, not offering the services of Mapquest.

Now, I've gotten lost before like anyone else. But if I'm going somewhere, typically before I leave I make sure to look up where I'm going and familiarize myself with the area via Google Maps. I don't understand how these people can get so utterly lost. I mean, they were intelligent enough to be able to find an item they were looking for on Craigslist and know how to generally work a computer. Why does it take them four times as long as it should to get to a nearby location???

Since the mattress was still unsold, a man named Joe made it to the apartment the night after the Ray debacle, and he needed absolutely no help with directions. When I got home from work I found him standing outside my building. He needed the mattress because he was in the process of getting a divorce and gave his soon to be ex-wife the one they shared. He seemed nice enough and at least was not a moron. He paid cash and before leaving, wished Tim and I the best in our marriage as his case should not discourage us.

At least he got a great deal on the memory foam mattress that he'll be sleeping alone on.

WTF?

2008-10-16T22:51:00.001-04:00

It took me forever to figure out what this was... after seeing this ad, and hearing it on the radio... What do you think it is?

Hot Apartment Deal

2008-10-16T19:32:00.000-04:00

I found a new apartment for an amazing price. It's half condominium half apartment. Right now there is a special that lands the rent at LESS than what I am paying now in a two bedroom two bath with a roommate.

The 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment is 515 square feet, with a washer and dryer in the unit and a cool kitchen island. The price is $675. There was an option of a renovated model with granite countertops, new stainless steel appliances, and a nicer bathroom. I toured both the standard and renovated models, and the newer one was beautiful. However, when it all comes down to it -- I don't need it. I can use the extra hundred dollars I would have spent on it to pay down my car or student loan instead.

Just so you know, I will not pay $675. The complex is having a special where the third month is completely free, and the next six months after that slash one hundred dollars off each month. With my calculations, rent will come out around $600. That is what I am paying now. It is next to impossible to find an apartment that cheap in a good complex with a washer and dryer in the unit. Plus I will have privacy and freedom that I don't have now living with a rather interesting roommate. I have not lived alone in some time, and I miss it.

The one I have locked in will be getting new carpeting and is on the ground floor. I'm not particularly fond of stairs. AND residents are allowed to paint! As long as it's a neutral color, they don't have to paint it back. I'm excited about that! Perhaps I'll do that if the walls are white.

My move in date is December 12th. I took off that Friday and Monday from work to make things easier for myself to get settled in the new place. I feel this is a very good move because the apartment will have my own touch in it rather than someone else's. No doing laundry at the laundry center either! There's even a small patio with storage, and I'd like to put a small grill out there.

Mmmm. Steak.

$2.99 Gas Is A Dream Come True

2008-10-14T20:55:00.000-04:00

On Friday, I loaded up my Toyota Matrix to spend the weekend with Tim. He lives in Miami and has come to spend every weekend with me since he's moved here. He seemed to appreciate not having to drive four hours each way, for once.

When I stopped for gas in Sarasota at my favorite Race Trac, I paid $3.49. Not at bad price at the time.

Then, as we drove around Miami and the surrounding areas I noticed that gas was around $3.39. What? Miami being cheaper than Sarasota? It seemed odd.

On the way home I realized why. Returning to the Race Trac, the prices had lowered to $3.25. Yes, $3.25. It was quite a shock. Not that I'd been keeping up with current events though...

Today, there are gas stations in the Tampa Bay area offering $2.99 prices.

I cannot believe it.

...Elated to Finally Get My Turn!

2008-10-01T00:54:00.010-04:00

Okay, so I've been tagged by Science Girl to write a post. This is the first time that I've been tagged by anyone, and I am psyched. Someone actually loves me!

Here are the rules:

So here are 6 Random Things About Me.

My fingernails naturally grow freakishly long. I am too lazy to get manicures or cut my nails, so they are usually at least an inch past my fingertips. I hardly ever paint my nails or really care. To my credit, they are nice.
I like anime. Used to wake up at 6:30 a.m. before school just so I could watch Sailor Moon episodes. In college, a friend got me hooked on Kodomo No Omocha. It's a very odd series about a young child TV star in Japan. She had a formerly homeless caretaker/babysitter. For years she referred to this man as her "pimp" even though she had no idea what it meant. Her mother was a famous author who always wore extremely strange hats.
My best friend and I used to hold all night Monopoly marathons. We modified the rules so that neither of us would lose and the game would never end. We'd also "save" the game keeping track of where our playing pieces were and how much money we had. Frequently the bank ran out of money. What fun.
I'm adopted and honestly, don't have much interest in finding my "real parents"
I have a white and gray mouse. Her name is Mars. (After Veronica Mars) It was a random impulse purchase. Yes, I was at PetSmart and I didn't have a pet at the time. Now I do.
Tina Fey is so beautiful I have a girl crush on her.

Okay then... I am tagging:

David, Babba Gi, Matt, Sarah, Margy, Jonathan

Cheap or Just Plain Clever?

2008-09-30T22:46:00.000-04:00

I am pretty excited about this week.

On Thursday, I have an appointment for a very long overdue haircut. At the Aveda Institute in St. Petersburg, the prices are incredible. $12 for a haircut. $35 for a relaxing facial. $40 for an hour long massage. The services are performed by students, and in my experience, they are just as good as anybody else. Especially since they'll be working in a salon that charges triple those prices in six months.

I hate paying full price. For anything.

Growing up, my family didn't have extra money to eat out at nice restaurants, take vacations, or buy designer clothes.

Out of my entire family, I'm one of a handful who went to college.

This is the first time in my life that I have what you'd call "disposable income." Now that I'm in this position, with the economy the way it is, I want to save as much money as I can.

Right out of school, my first job paid (take home pay) the equivalent of about $9.00 an hour. Miraculously I was able to buy a condominium on that salary. Renting one of the bedrooms made this option cheaper than having an apartment. The only upgrade to the place I made was installing mirrors above the bathroom sinks and putting in toilet paper holders. In the two years I owned the condo, the value jumped close to 35% based on the price I sold it for in May of 2007.
I've also managed to conquer my student loans. They used to be close to $30,000. Now, I only have $8,127.54 to go. Much of that progress came thanks to the profit made from the condo sale.

I do have to set aside money every paycheck for my bi-annual car insurance premium and that kind of sucks.

In my current position, I'm making considerable more money and am finally trying to save up some money in an emergency fund. It's going slower than I anticipated though. Why is it that no matter how much money you make, it's always hard to save?

While many of my coworkers are living a comfortable life in the Tampa Bay area, I still sometimes feel like a college student.

I eat off of the dollar value menu at McDonald's a lot. I hate paying more than $30 for a pair of shoes. One pair of boots I own retailed for $200. I got them for $19.99.

My guy recently commented on the lack of furniture in my apartment. It's true. I have a hard time buying large ticket items sometimes. Although I do admit that I have a weakness for electronics, like a Nintendo Wii and an LCD TV.

On most days, I try to stick to a daily food budget of $5 give or take. This is not as difficult as it sounds. It does involve making sandwiches to bring to work, eating leftovers, drive-thru windows and the like. Lately I do find myself eating out more than I should, racking up the food bill quickly...

Priceline has become an ally of mine. For Thanksgiving I'm going to visit my parents in Buffalo. I got a great deal at $18 a day for the rental car. In a week and a half I'm going to Miami. Booked a three and a half star hotel with a bid for $40 a day. Woo hoo! On the hotel's web site, the cheapest room is $139 a night, and on discount sites rooms go for $120. Score another one for me!

So now my goal is to keep contributing to my emergency fund. I'd like to have at least 8-10 months of living expenses. When I get my tax refund, that's where that money is going.

It's Like Hanukkah

2008-09-18T12:20:00.005-04:00

Every year at work, the company (a TV station) celebrates its anniversary with a 9 day celebration. It reminds me quite a bit of the Jewish celebration Hanukkah. And yes, there are presents. Each employee receives raffle tickets to enter drawings to win items like an iPod shuffle, a blender, air mattress, and the like. The winners will be announced tomorrow.

So far it's gone like this...

Day 1 "Gift Day" - Came into the office, and coworkers inform me that I'll never guess in a ten million years what is in my mailbox. They were right. It was a pizza cutter with the station logo on it. A pizza cutter.

Day 2 "Pizza Day" - Sensing a theme? Two deliveries arrived throughout the day at 11:30 and 4:45. Two meals covered! Luckily, the pies were already sliced so we did not have to use the pizza cutters.

Day 3 "Shirt Day" - Employees got to go to HR to pick up new logoed pique polo shirts. I got a size small. The shirts are white. When I took mine out of the plastic bag, I discovered that the underarm seam was destroyed on one side. So I exchanged it for another one. This one has a tiny stain on it, but I soaked it with my Tide stain stick pen. Hopefully it will be okay. The shirt is white. We are being encouraged to wear them tomorrow on Casual Friday. Perhaps I'll wear a colorful bra underneath? On second thought, no.

Tomorrow is Day 4 "Raffle Day" and I would very much like the blender or the air mattress.

Functioning on McD's

2008-09-04T10:21:00.000-04:00

Something you might not know about me is that back in the day (high school) I would routinely eat five Big Mac sandwiches at McDonald's.

I'm not kidding.

Five.

At the time, there was a special promotion going on in which they were only 99 cents, so much more cost effective than doing that now.

At a height of 5'2" weighing in at 85 lbs. I wasn't unlike Sonya "Black Widow" Thomas the competitive eater.

My senior year of high school I was in the work study program. I'd already collected most of the credits to graduate. In the morning I took classes and in the afternoon I worked as an office clerk at PCB Piezotronics (they make sensors) in Depew, NY making minimum wage. I was so proud of that job. It was my first taste of independence and making my own money and driving my Dad's old car - a teal '93 Ford Escort station wagon. Those cars sure were everywhere in Western New York, let me tell you.

Unfortunately, I did not get to taste lunch at school. My schedule did not have room for a lunch period. If memory recalls correctly, my last class ended at 12:30 and I had to work from 1-5 p.m. Most days I would stop at McD's for a quick bite to eat. On a few occasions, I stooped to eating beef jerky while driving to the office. Breakfasts consisted of an entire large bag of Cheddar Bacon potato skin chips and a can of soda.

I was so into soda that I started a side business at school selling cans to classmates for 75 cents out of my locker. The vending machines at Lancaster High School would not turn on until after the school day was over to promote healthier choices. That meant monopoly for me! Every Sunday I would scour ads looking for the cheapest Pepsi or Coca-Cola soda, then would literally stock up and fill the trunk of the Escort. Since I grew up outside Buffalo, NY it was cold for the majority of the school year. When I brought a 12 pack into school, it was chilled and ready for sales. The cheaper the price, the higher the profit margin for me. By the end of the year I had about $300 in quarters, and that was after paying myself in soda. Not bad for a hobby that took up a few minutes of time each day plus shopping that I did anyways.

Those junk food memories are good to look back on and smile. At the end of my senior year, I still weighed about the same. How did that happen?

This week has been a bit of a flashback. Due to the Republican National Convention, I've been working 4 p.m. to 1 a.m. On the way to work, I've been stopping at McDonald's and getting the Happy Hour $1 iced coffee and chicken McNuggets. On the way home last night, I stopped there again to get a few items off the dollar menu. And earlier in the week, I took advantage of the 2 sausage egg McMuffin sandwiches for $2 deal.

Today will be a break from that though! This afternoon, we have a dining story shoot at a very nice steak house. Hopefully we will get to sample some of the fare. Definitely a good change of pace from my McD's diet.

Labor Day

2008-09-01T19:49:00.003-04:00

I like NOT working on Labor Day.

This has been yet another oddly weird week.

Sarah Palin - the relatively unknown Governor of Alaska is tapped by McCain
Gustav makes landfall in Louisiana
Somehow a group of anonymous girls ended up at a baseball stadium at 4 a.m.
My friend had a bounce house at her surprise birthday party
I'll never get seven hours of my life back spent at a certain crappy event in which complete morons asked me a string of pointless questions
Today's fortune cookie read: "Your spirit of adventure leads you down an exciting new path"... and for once, I believe it!

The past few months have meant turning point after turning point for me. Nothing's the same. Everything continues to change. I'm definitely not the same.

Rich or Middle-Class?

2008-08-28T14:34:00.010-04:00

Newsweek has an article written by Daniel Gross titled "Sorry, Pal, You're Rich" addressing the question of whether a $250,000 per year salary makes the earner middle-class or wealthy.

Apparently only 35% of people rolled by CNBC believed that a 250 K income qualified a household for elite rich status.

Keep in mind, the median household income in this nation for 2007 was $50,223.

$250,000 is five times that number. Only 1.9% of U.S. households have an income greater than that amount.

Barack Obama has promised to scale back tax cuts for people making more than $250,000, and now the business class is griping that people who make that much aren't rich, especially around metropolitan areas such as New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C.

Now, let's break this all down...

For 2008, the federal tax brackets for a single person (keep in mind, there's a rather complicated gradual calculation) are roughly 30%. Let's say you live in New York City where there is a state income tax of 8.14% and a city income tax of 4%.

So overall, you pay 42.14% in income taxes total.

First, let's assume you automatically deduct 10% for your company 401K - $25,000 a year to get the 50% match (free money!)

$225,000
-42.14%
(94,815)
--------------

$130,185, or $10,848 per month.

Even after taxes and future retirement savings, that's definitely not bad. Heck, that's way more than I make!

On craigslist, there is an elegant 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom Upper East side brownstone steps to Bloomingdale's and subways including a washer and dryer in the apartment listed for $2,350.

We'll estimate that the cable, electric, phone, and water bills make housing and utilities cost about $3,000 per month. Since there's really no need for a vehicle in NYC, we'll factor in the $89 a month cost for a MetroCard and about $250 a month for Taxi cabs...

Since you're making a decent salary, we'll assume you have a Blackberry with $100 a month service... and ya gotta eat, right? So $750 a month for food and groceries. $1,000 a month for fun & entertainment. Another grand for shopping...

Many folks have student loans, so we'll factor in $900 (which comes out to about $100,000 in debt)

Monthly Budget

$10,848

$2,350 (Rent)
$ 650 (Utilities, phone, cable)
$ 100 (Blackberry service)
$ 89 (MetroCard)
$ 250 (Taxi cabs)
$ 750 (Food/groceries)
$1,000 (Entertainment)
$1,000 (Clothes)
$ 900 (Student Loans)

$7, 089 (Monthly expenses)

-------------------------

$3,759 is left at the end of the month as disposable income (more than $45,000 per year)

Wow. Even in America's most expensive city, living comfortably on a $250,000 a year salary would still leave you with $45,000 to play with after saving for retirement, paying taxes, living in a nice apartment, and not having to be too frugal. Imagine how much living in a suburban or rural area would make a difference.

I don't know about you, but that seems like a wealthy lifestyle to me. But perhaps it's all based on your perspective. True, a $250,000 income would be stretched much farther if it was earned in a family of two adults and four children. Yes, I get that. Whether someone is rich or not should not just be based on income, but on circumstances.

Regardless of whether a $250,000 income makes you rich or middle-class, this post does not have the purpose of proving that the rich should not get tax breaks. I've never understood why someone making $10,000 a year pays less in taxes as a percentage than someone who rakes in $10 million. If someone has the drive, determination, and work ethic to earn that much cash legally, they should get to keep most of it.

Some coworkers and I were discussing this article heatedly this afternoon. One of them pointed out how a flat tax would make the most sense. And I have to say that I whole-heartedly agree. Although if I had my way, the flat tax would be 5% and would only cover basic government expenses and infrastructure.

I don't want to pay for someone else's short sightedness, fleecing of the system, pork projects, and the like. If I make my own money, I believe that I deserve to keep that for myself. Whether or not I help those in need should be my choice and not a legal requirement. That takes away the liberty this country was founded upon and I feel it's wrong.

So, yes, a $250,000 income in most cases, does make a person rich. But taking away approximately $100,000 of that for the U.S. government makes me very queasy.

Unwinding on a Tuesday Night

2008-08-26T20:38:00.014-04:00

Red wine. It's become my new friend. My vice. I love the savory, salty, sometimes spicy taste of merlot, cabernet sauvignon, and shiraz. It rolls over my tongue like a warm comfortable embrace. Finally, I've gotten to the point where I can have two glasses and not tip over. Maybe I'm actually becoming less of a light weight.

It's the perfect way to start off the evening after work. This week I've been getting home around 5:15 instead of 7. Today was a bit tense at certain points, so on my lunch break I went grocery shopping. Beringer's wine was on sale for $7.99 a bottle. Since I've had decent luck with the zinfandel, I decided to go for two bottles. (In my journey to Publix I also picked up Gouda cheese, milk, eggs, sushi, soda, juice, thinly sliced chicken breast and pita bread)

And I had a glass of wine with a microwaved hot dog. Now that is the art of sophistication. It is technically a red meat after all. To match the entertainment to the meal, I watched the latest episode of In Plain Sight on hulu.com. Yes... on my computer.

Very fittingly, I produce wine television segments called Wine 101. It's hosted by one of our head honchos and a man who owns a local liquor store. In fact, I've seen both of them recently. The store has the best prices imaginable and a great selection. The owner has never steered me wrong on what to purchase. He's extremely nice. Just remember that 2005 was possibly the best year ever for wine.

The weird thing is -- I'm not much of a grape fan.

Missing in Action

2008-08-23T23:03:00.003-04:00

Sorry, it has been quite awhile since my last post. I've been on vacation this past week and have had a visitor in town hence the absence. In a nutshell, I've gone to the beach twice -- have eaten way too much great food -- and even took another trip to Bern's Steak House, one of the best steak houses in the entire country. It's been fun! I promise I'll update again soon!

The Butterfly Effect

2008-08-09T19:06:00.005-04:00

Attraction: Interpersonal attraction can be thought of as a force acting between two people tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation.

One of the most exciting and passionate emotions a person can feel, is a result of just that. Attraction. Chemistry.

Whether it's someone you've known ten years or ten minutes, it can happen with the snap of a finger.

Currently, I find my self smack dab in the middle of the strongest chemistry I've ever felt with anyone. Over the past week, I've been so distracted it's been hard to work! It's such a wonderful, euphoric, giddy feeling. I could get hit by a bus right now and still have a smile on my face.

If you couldn't tell by now, I've got someone new in the picture. He's absolutely wonderful. And knowing that he's crazy about me is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. Things are progressing quite nicely and I find myself daydreaming often.

One indicator that I really like a guy is if my stomach gets the fluttery or tickly feeling. Yes, I get them. Butterflies. According to Wikipedia, this sensation can be a physical sensation related to the body's fight or flight response or it can be an ineffable experience related to the psychology of love.

Back in college, there were a few young men that I admired afar and never really talked to. Those instances always gave me a bad case of butterflies. But now it's almost multiplied since I not only like this one, but I actually know and talk to him. Not to mention the fact that I was intensely attracted to him right away.

After winding up heartbroken a little over six weeks ago, this is literally the last thing on Earth I expected. After my first break-up, I spent six years (yes, years) in the desert of singleness. I find it incredibly ironic, that it's only been six weeks instead. So needless to say, I'm still in shock. Complete shock. This situation pretty much snuck up on me without me having any idea what was going to happen.

I love the beginnings of a new romance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Face Value

2008-08-08T13:50:00.001-04:00

In this day in age, it is extremely difficult to believe in people. We say things we don't really mean and make promises we know we'll never keep. "Sure, I'll come to your party." "I never miss a Bucs game!" "I love pizza." "I'll do it." Everything is exaggerated and over the top. We are intense, impatient, and full-tilt running on empty. My favorite phrase is "trust me." Really, when I hear that, I think the exact opposite.

Don't get me wrong. I think many of my fellow human beings are well intentioned... but I'm sure not going to rely on any of you. No offense. Sometimes you just have to be an island.
So many people I talk to are literally, just spinning crap. They almost seem to be missing the essence that it takes to have a true soul. Everything they say is completely worthless, because they'll never follow through - never take action. Never do anything about it. Basically, the wheels are turning but the wagon's going nowhere. What a waste of freaking time.

Talk is easy, and as I've heard quite a bit these past few days - it's cheap. What I hate about meaningless talk is that it makes it so hard to separate the truth. When most of what you hear is just lies, how does one find a genuine statement... Or real honesty? Especially when much of what you hear, you immediately dismiss.

Obviously, I don't know, otherwise this post would explain exactly how to pick out the real McCoy. But now I'm in a situation where I have to do that and I feel lost. How do you distinguish truth?

In my particular case, I really am leaning toward believing in what's been said to me. The individual that's involved understands being lied to, and I've never experienced such raw honesty before. That's why it's hard to recognize, because it's so rare.

Many of us have a filter when it comes to people. Over time we learn (unfortunately the hard way) who we can trust and who to discard. It takes a lot of sifting through the trash to find the treasure.

Why is it so difficult to take anything at face value?

Not Found in the Wedding Album

2008-08-04T13:28:00.012-04:00

After all the turmoil surrounding my efforts to get onto Jared and Leah's ftp site, I discovered that Jared has redesigned the site. Yay! I can finally check out other wedding photos and upload my own as soon as I can find my SD card. I discovered these "lost" snapshots taken by the best man's wife, Kristen.

This is the entire wedding party (excluding the bride and groom) at Quaker Steak & Lube for the rehearsal dinner. (L-R Tim, Myself, Hillary, Becky, Ed, Matt, Andrew) It was a good night!

Seriously, what's up with my dress? Major gatherage in a very obvious place...

The ceremony was rather casual. No flowers, just rolled up mass programs for bouquets.
Being in a wedding party is a great way to stock up on matching jewelry sets.
Why the hell am I holding the flowers up like that? It's so awkward looking.
In this shot, I'm probably thinking about food. But hey, what's new?

Fully-Automatic

2008-08-01T17:26:00.009-04:00

What a great way to ring in my 26th birthday! Today I fired off a few bullets on an MP5, a 9 mm submachine gun made by German manufacturer Heckler & Koch. We were out at a large gun shop on a shoot, and this is the owner's personal piece of weaponry. He told us that he bought it for $8,000 back in 2001 and it is now worth $20,000 since it is no longer being made. The main component dates to 1986.
The MP (Maschinenpistole) is the most popular post-war submachine gun. It is used by a multitude of special forces, police and army units. It's a favorite due to its compact size, stopping power, and reliability. More notable users include the United States Navy SEALs, special forces, the German GSG9 group and the British SAS special forces.

So our crew donned protective eye wear and headsets and walked into the shooting range. I'd never held a gun before, let alone fired one. This MP5 wasn't terribly heavy. The store owner gave me an extremely brief tutorial including the advice on leaning the machine gun into my shoulder. I did that. This model has a laser which made aiming much easier.

I expected the blast to knock me down backwards, but the recoil was much less than I thought it would be. The gun had a suppressor on the end to reduce firing noise. Much more pleasant! I tried it out on both single shot and the fully automatic mode.

Believe it or not, I found this activity very enjoyable. I've heard that going to a firing range can release tension and stress, and I never bought that. But it was actually true. When the photographer and I left the store, we both agreed that we felt happier than when we walked in. The store offers a Concealed Weapon or Firearm License class. Perhaps that's something to look into.

Really, as a woman, I do believe in the right to my own protection and self preservation. Of course, the Second Amendment gives individuals the right to keep and bear arms which is something I really don't support taking away from citizens.

The smile on my face looks a little creepy, considering the fact that I'm gripping a machine gun, doesn't it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trick or Treat?

2008-07-29T21:47:00.004-04:00

I have to admit - Criss Angel is much better looking in person than I expected. He's in the Tampa area to do a death defying stunt tomorrow night at the Spyglass Hotel on Clearwater Beach. Part of my job involves field producing celebrity interviews from time to time.

Prior to this event, A&E hosted a press junket at the Hilton. There was actually food at this one! And it was good! The photo above, I took of him during our interview. He's actually kind of cute...

Mr. & Mrs. Thomas

2008-07-27T21:42:00.020-04:00

Leah and Jared Thomas should be on their way to Maine for their honeymoon as I write this. This weekend... was really incredible.

Thursday night I flew into Pittsburgh International Airport, picked up my lovely Hertz rental car - a black Mazda M3, then drive up to Zelienople to stay with my friend Mike in his new place. Zelienople is one of those really small towns where the main drag is about a quarter of a mile long with three traffic lights. As we walked with Max the German Shepherd down the main street, a group of high school kids in an SUV invited us to the St. Greg's fair. What that is I have no idea. We had Yuengling and a blooming onion, chicken wings, and a cheeseburger at the local bar, which was a block from the house. The tattooed, pierced, bartender wore an "I <3 Zelie" t-shirt. They were on sale for $15. I almost bought one.

Friday morning, I drove a little more than a half hour to Rachel's Roadhouse, a restaurant we used to hang out at in college. Leah's aunts threw her a pre-wedding lunch. The food was excellent. For dessert, I tried a blueberry cheesecake that was out of this world.

We then went to the Acker household to help Leah with her gifts and other miscellaneous tasks.

Leah Thomas (nee Acker) received most of the gifts on her registry, and two more boxes were delivered as we hung out at the house.

Nelly the little poodle sat right in the middle of the action. At first, I thought she was a bichon frise. Then I learned that the family had originally wanted one, but after learning that bichons are difficult to housebreak, just "got a light colored poodle and let her hair grow long."

Check out all the loot! A quesadilla maker! Not one, but TWO picnic baskets! Stemware! A clock!

At the rehearsal dinner at Quaker Steak & Lube, someone anonymously sent Leah a shot. She didn't refuse!

Later on Friday evening, we went back to the Acker house while Jared and Leah stopped by at her grandmother's house. Andrew Acker (Leah's awesome brother and my wedding partner-in-crime) told us story after story about the bride while rolling on the floor laughing. Then he suddenly remembered that he'd left Nellie outside 45 minutes earlier. She wasn't too happy about it.

Before the weekend of the wedding, I had never met the other two bridesmaids. Let me tell you, they are fabulous ladies. Hillary lives near Boston and was Leah's roommate for a semester at Grove City College. She passed out while waiting in the Acker's basement.

Calling all guys! You need to meet Becky (pictured below). She should be Maid of Honor of the year or something like that. She is organized, let me crash at her house. Woke me up the morning of the wedding, laid out towels, brought over a delicious homemade breakfast to the Acker house for everyone to eat that morning, SANG beautifully at the ceremony and reception, and God knows what else! Becky is a sweetheart. It was both an honor and a privilege to be in a wedding with her and Hillary.

Finally, the happy couple showed up around 2 a.m. Just kidding! It was more like 10 o'clock! But then they started doing Jared's laundry for the honeymoon. Jared actually took off the shirt he is wearing in this picture to throw it in the washer. Andrew actually finished up the load. What a great brother.

"You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you."

It's all a result of us getting a little too rowdy at the late night Bachelorette gathering/Sheetz run. As you can see, I couldn't resist the lure of Fufu Berry Jones soda.

So after that, we went to sleep early! I stayed at Becky's house. Slept like a baby. Was out of bed and in the shower by 7:15 the next morning.

After a few hours at Leah's house, we made it to the church. Don't you love Leah's outfit? The bridesmaids were given pearl earrings and necklaces. I'm telling you, being in weddings is the best way to get a good collection of jewelry. Aren't they gorgeous?

One of my favorite parts of being in a wedding party, is getting to know the parents. Peter and Pat Acker were so gracious, kind, and fun to be around. They met on a blind date and have been married since 1980. I know. I saw the wedding pictures to prove it. Don't they sort of remind you of Laura Bush and John McCain?

Mr. Acker is a local attorney and Mrs. Acker is a high school teacher. They did most of the planning for the Acker-Thomas wedding. We took wedding photos at a park gazebo named after the family. The reception location was absolutely stunning. The food was excellent and the wedding cake was carrot cake. Yum. They are such warm people, and am very glad we got to spend some time together.

While driving to the reception, the brakes cut out on their car, and they managed to coast into a parking lot. Thank goodness they were okay. I guess you can say they sort of hitch hiked to the reception? What a day!

Here I am waiting down in the church for the ceremony to begin. I'm holding off on putting on the shoes though... They are not that comfortable.

Andrew drove Leah, Jared, and I around town on Saturday. He's a hell of a driver! I'm trying to convince him and his dad to come down for the St. Pete Grand Prix next year. Mr. Acker actually roomed with Bobby Rahal back in the day. Crazy, huh?

Guess who's holding hands in the backseat?

Answer: Leah & Jared Thomas

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Lessons Learned

2008-07-24T10:48:00.007-04:00

(Circa August 2007 - Jill's wedding)

(Circa September 2006 - Calley's wedding)

As I procrastinate from what I should be doing, packing for the Pittsburgh wedding, I have been doing some reflection. At the ripe old age of 25 (about to be 26), I honestly think I've gotten a little smarter and a tad bit wiser. Especially about my bridesmaid duties. So I'll share a few tips I've picked up over the years.

Using a topsy tail to "do your own hair" is a really, really bad idea

If the Best Man who used to send you interesting poems on AOL Instant Messenger, the best thing to do is pretend if never happened and slow dance with him anyways

Get a pair of strappy silver high heels and wear those to every wedding. They go with any dress!

Don't let the bride eat bad chicken at her bachelorette party

Try to avoid having the bride stand too close to objects that could fall on her while she's trying to put on her dress (ie: an old air conditioning unit stacked on a closet shelf)

As a bridemaid, it's your job to really get the party going! Whether that's dancing with grandpa, doing the electric slide or requesting that the DJ play Ice Ice Baby

Make sure that you order the dress in the correct size. Best thing to do: order one size up

Have flip flops on hand for the time when inevitably, the silver shoes will start to kill your feet

After the reception, take the other brides to a gas station for snacks while still wearing the matching dresses

Don't take a date if you don't have a boyfriend or husband. You never know who you'll meet!

Give Sally Hansen's airbrush foundation a try. It's awesome!

Bring cash. You never know when you'll need to tip, or get a strong drink at the cash bar

Leave a comfortable change of clothes in the car just in case!

Do get a Tide To Go stain stick pen

Make sure to help with clean-up afterward and taking gifts to a car. It helps the Bride and Groom to relax and have a good time themselves

Eat a lot of wedding cake

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Irony: Story Of My Life

2008-07-22T21:29:00.005-04:00

i·ro·ny

1.
the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.

Sometimes... things happen to me that wouldn't happen to anyone else... except for perhaps Tina Fey's character Liz Lemon on the NBC show 30 Rock.

One time in college a drunk middle aged man approached me and held onto my hand at an Eat 'N Park. He told me I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Yikes.

Although I've never been on a date with my cousin, my cousin Jeffrey was my first kiss at age 2 or so. He was standing up, I was sitting in an aluminum lawn chair. There are photos. (In our defense, I am adopted.)

One Christmas Eve at church, I met a guy who seemed nice. The next night we went to the movies together. That movie was Bowling for Columbine. It got weirder and weirder from there. He smoked pot. He sold knock off cologne and perfume at gas stations and the mall. He tried to make out with me during the Michael Moore flick. Not thinking ahead, I couldn't escape out the bathroom window. It was bad. Really bad. A few months later, I heard he was living in his car and that someone caught him having sex with some chick in said car. I'm eternally grateful that the girl wasn't me.

Last year at Barnes & Noble, a rather cute young man asked me to have coffee with him. Then, while we were talking, he reveals that he's into some kind of mysticism and starts going on and on about magical forests and crap. Seriously! He also told me that he wasn't hitting on me, but that I looked like I needed someone to talk to. He was in love with his martial arts instructor. Against my better judgment we exchanged email addresses. Later that night, he sent me a strange invitation to a costume party because he found me "erotic." Ew.

Recently, I went out a few times with a guy named Tony. Keep in mind that I have also dated someone with the last name Miceli. Tony. Miceli. Who's The Boss coincidence or what? (Okay, so it's missing one "L"... )

Earlier today, I received a text message from New Guy. Okay, okay, Tony. He had briefly mentioned that he plays in a kickball league. Well, then today our reporter said she was going to do a story about kickball leagues in the Tampa Bay area. And of course she is going to Tony's kickball game this Saturday. The reason he'd contacted me wasn't to ask me out, but to see if I could get him more "face time." Luckily, I'm neither involved or in town for that. But I have to confess, I don't think I want my crew chatting up a guy I've gone out with romantically. Way too weird.

A rather um, unusual guy I work with has contacted me over the internet even though he barely says "hi" to me in the hallway.

The past two nights, I've had rather bizarre and inappropriate dreams about Ex-Boyfriend. Maybe I shouldn't go to sleep ever again.

There's someone that I can't really stand and have no respect for, but I'm secretly very attracted to.

Seriously, have I gone off the deep end? I'm not even sure I can survive tomorrow, let alone this weekend... and the wedding. Help!

Wedding Bells

2008-07-20T20:12:00.004-04:00

I am not well right now. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and feeling sort of achey.

This is so not good timing. So I went to Publix and stocked up on groceries and orange juice. I drank an entire glass with some Airborne in it. (Keeping my fingers crossed!)

Thursday I fly to Pittsburgh for my annual summer wedding party. Four days of merriment, food, and matrimonial bliss.

Two years ago I was a bridesmaid in my college roomate, Calley's wedding... to a guy named Dave.

Last summer I was the maid of honor in my best childhood girlfriend, Jill's wedding.... to a guy named Dave.

And six days from now, I'm standing up in the nuptials of Leah and Jared, two college friends from Grove City.

I think my life is turning into the movie 27 Dresses, except without the very cute James Marsden hanging around as a not-so-discrete newspaper reporter.

Although it's a lot of work, time, and money, I do enjoy being a bridesmaid. Wearing a cute dress that I can never put on again, standing at the front of the church, eating, drinking and dancing. However, the fun must come to an end. I think this may be the last wedding I'll agree to be in.

So far the details are a little fuzzy. There's a family and friends barbecue Thursday night, but by the time I would be able to get there, I think it would be over. Then Friday, a ladies' luncheon, shopping with the bride, and the rehearsal ceremony and dinner. Saturday, heading to Leah's to primp, then the ceremony at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

Another exciting factor in this trip: staying and hanging out with my friend Mike D! Thank God for male buddies! Sometimes the mama drama can be a bit much. With Mike, we can get a little drunk and say crazy things. It's a good thing.

It will be nostalgic to get back to Western Pennsylvania. That's where my college, Grove City is. The weather will be pleasant, we'll be returning to a few of our old stomping grounds, and eat at Rachel's Roadhouse and Quaker Steak & Lube. Oh yes, and there will be a SHEETZ gas station!!! That's what excites me most. Seriously.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

2008-07-17T21:29:00.006-04:00

I'll be the first to admit, it's pretty difficult for me to open up about all matters intensely personal. It's always been so easy to talk and write about any other topic or anyone else. And I have to confess, I'm guilty of censorship here. Some of my friends are able to be brutally and refreshingly honest. And yet I'm still afraid of being judged or making myself too vulnerable.

Not anymore. As I've been blogging over the past five years, the fear has slowly slipped away. And not just on Blogger, but within my own life. So here's my deal:

Today after quite the heinous day at work, I stopped in at my neighborhood Chinese takeout place for some General Tso's. And of course, what comes with this meal?

The fortune cookie!

While the first one I opened said something about being a gentleman, I got a great one for the second.

"Your heart is a place to draw true happiness."

Ain't that the truth!

Truth be told, I think mine feels really confused. I've been single again for close to a month now. And man, this is hard!

For about 48 hours after being broken up with, I felt absolute heartbreak and disbelief. And then, just as quickly as it descended, it was gone. No more tears. No more despair. I felt free and clear. Like countless possibilities started pouring in. Not to mention the fact that I will save about $200 a month in gas.

In the aftermath, I immediately threw myself into a whirlwind of activities. Going out with the coworkers, going to a church near my house, and yes, even getting to know a few new guys.

For the first time in years I drank too much. That was two days after the break-up. One week after my night of debauchery, I went on a date with someone new. It was easy to talk to him and he seemed cool. Two nights after that, this particular someone kissed me. It was far too weird and too much for me. Instead of being "into it" I was extremely uncomfortable. I felt like I was being unfaithful to my now ex-boyfriend. Quite abruptly, I told New Guy that I needed to go home. Really, I just had to get out of there.

Driving home, panic and horror ran through my entire body. I felt guilty. Like a kid who'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. But I hadn't done anything wrong. It also seemed to further cement the reality that my previous relationship was indeed over.

After seeing him one more time, when I invited him out with a group of friends, I realized that I didn't have much chemistry on my end. Maybe it's the timing, maybe it's not. Rebound fling? I'm really not sure.

If that's not throwing enough of a wrench into things, I've started sort of an email/phone connection with someone I'll call Pittsburgh Guy. While I don't know him very well at all, he seems like a great person. He's been contacting me several times a day and even took photos of the Steel City skyline to send me so I could have something scenic to look at. Next week I'm actually going to that area to be a bridesmaid in a wedding, and may meet up with him. But at the same time, I'm not sure what exactly I'm looking for right now. I just got out of a relationship, and I have to say, I'm a little freaked out. He is moving to the same area I live in fairly soon.

I'm lost. This is new territory for me. While I'd do anything to deny it, I still can't shake Ex-Boyfriend. I'm not the same. That's also another weird side to a break-up. You'll never be in the place you were before. You are forced to move forward and keep on going.

Last night I severely hit my elbow on the bathroom door. I was cursing in pain, it was so awful. As I drifted off to sleep, it continued to throb. When I woke up this morning, I thought everything was fine again. Until I put pressure on that spot. Then that same pain returned like it had never left.

That's what this time feels like for me. I'm okay until I accidentally lean on a pain-inducing emotion or memory. I've had really great days and moments, and darker ones too. Some of my notions do tend to be rather polarizing... I waver between being social and wanting to hole up alone in my bedroom. Jumping into a new love story and living my life completely on my own. Being completely sacrificial or taking everything I can for myself. Still loving him or consciously ending that chapter in my life for good. This is hard.

Like the song often sung in churches I'm reminded of these lyrics...

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for
Brokenness is what I need

Is this what it takes? For me to be broken down, in order to be built into someone new?

If that's not enough, my mother emailed me this video from the Today show. Marriage tips from a priest. Yes, a priest. A man who will never be married. And you know what? It wasn't bad advice! Actually it rang close to home for me.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/25635482#25635482

Despite what the fortune cookie says, I'm not sure what my heart's good for these days. All I know is that tonight it hurts.

Still, I know this all has purpose and meaning. I am learning and evolving into a woman I can take pride in being. She is loving, confident, warm, friendly, strong, intelligent, and beautiful inside and out. She cares for herself and for others. She doesn't take any crap. She smiles genuinely and laughs a lot. She's passionate about everything she does. And it's amazing that I'm becoming her.

Office Blogging

2008-07-15T20:42:00.004-04:00

Usually I don't blog about work. I've heard of quite a few people getting in trouble for writing about office activities.

But that's no longer a problem!

Employees at my station are submitting blog entries for an online blog. Here's mine! (In case you wondered what I did for a living.)

http://www.baynews9.com/content/142/2008/1/1/365028.html

It was actually kind of fun!

I Give Good Phone

2008-07-15T00:46:00.003-04:00

Why is it that time spent on the phone flies by so quickly? In the past 24 hours, I've spent nine hours combined on the phone (not including work related calls). That's a heck of a lot of conversing.

Back in the day, I could barely spend five minutes on the phone with anyone. The exchange would go something like this:

"Hello"

"Hi, how are you doing?"

"Great! How about you?"

"Had a good day today. Are you busy tonight?"

"No, did you have something in mind?"

"Want to go grab coffee?"

"Sure, at the Starbucks on Transit?"

"Sounds good, see you soon!"

Apparently my communication skills have evolved past blinking my eyes or giving the thumbs up. And it's now one o'clock in the morning and I HAVE to get some sleep. I'm exhausted from doing this last night, also.

This One's For You, V

2008-07-13T08:23:00.005-04:00

While I may have strayed to watch 30 Rock, The Suze Orman Show, In Plain Sight, and other gratifying television shows - there is really only one that I pledge my undying allegiance to. You know what it is.

Yesterday while doing laundry and picking up my bedroom, I rewatched the first half of season two.

When I feel like my life is complicated or glum, this is the perfect remedy. Veronica's sarcastic, tough, out-smarting, and her world seems to be littered with males of every type. Her best friend, boyfriends, devoted dad, vice-principal, sheriff, bikers, public defender, sleazy rival private investigator.

"Aghhh... Sorry. I got so swept up in your beauty that I forgot my assignment." - Vinnie Van Lowe.

As I write this, I am watching one of the most gripping episode of the series - 2.11 - "Donut Run."

Although most Veronica Mars fans tend to be supportive of the Veronica/Logan romance - nicknamed LoVe... I tend to think differently.

While I found the character Duncan to at times be dull, his romance with Ronnie takes the cake for me.

Veronica and Duncan dated during their sophomore year of high school, as Duncan's sister Lily (Veronica's best friend) dated Duncan's best friend Logan. Veronica's mom and Duncan's father had an affair, and it was widely rumored that Veronica was actually Duncan's half-sister.

To break up the pair, Duncan's mother tells him this information. He breaks things off with Veronica. Then Lily is murdered.

A year passes. Duncan and Veronica's friend Meg get together in episode 1.15, "Ruskie Business." Veronica gives them her blessing at Neptune High School's 80s dance after finding out that Duncan had been Meg's secret admirer.

When Veronica discovers that she and Duncan are unrelated, she tells him. Duncan breaks up with Meg, and during the summer - reunites with Veronica. He persists in hanging around her at the coffee shop where she works. On her birthday, he leaves her a gift box. Viewers see her open it, read the fortune cookie message inside, then run to him. But no one is privied to the message.

But... Meg is pregnant and goes into a coma following a tragic bus crash. She briefly wakes up and asks Veronica for help. Meg's parents are abusive, and Veronica assures Meg she won't let her parents send the baby away to a religious adoption program. Soon afterward, Meg dies but the baby lives.

Following through on this promise, Veronica helps Duncan escape the country with his infant daughter, never to see him again. I can't imagine what that had to be like. Especially since the only reason Duncan dates Meg is because his mother convinced him that he and Veronica were brother and sister. Talk about star-crossed. Helping your love's dead ex-girlfriend with her last final wish. Whoa there.

At the end of the episode, the song Adelaide plays as viewers see Veronica taking a walk on the beach. We then see what the fortune cookie said: "True love stories never have endings."

As a rabid fan, I can definitely see why Veronica was so touched by that gift. After all the turmoil and drama, Duncan reminded her that their love still stands a chance. That he's loved her all along. It was so perfect.

To me, this love story is so much more meaningful than the one between Logan and Veronica. Logan has destructive and hurtful actions, while Duncan's affections for Veronica are good and well intentioned. Throughout the series he never does anything malicious or intentionally wrong to her. He is good to her. This, to me, is more characteristic of epic love.

It's enough to make me wonder whether the fortune cookie statement has a lot of truth to it or not. Will one always have feelings for someone they truly love? Or does the end of the relationship mean the end of that story. As Carrie Bradshaw once asked, "When two people break up, where does the love go?" That answer, I really don't know.

When I looked up the phrase unrequited love on Wikipedia, this is the entry I found.

Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may not even be aware of this person's deep feelings for them. This can lead to feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria. Being such a universal feeling, it has naturally been a frequent subject in popular culture.

There are some instances, where I can see why unrequited love should remain... unrequited. For example, if one or both people are already married. Commitment is commitment, folks.

But then I ponder why others who could be happy and in love with each other don't get together. Sometimes it's for reasons that just aren't that valid. I believe that if there's a chance for two people to find love with one another, that's a risk worth taking. We are not guaranteed a soulmate or even close to it.

So Veronica, this one's for you.

Modern, Cool Nerd

2008-07-12T19:18:00.000-04:00

65 % Nerd, 57% Geek, 26% Dork
For The Record:A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd. Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)! Congratulations!

Girl Behaving Badly

2008-07-12T01:07:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago, two other young ladies plus myself definitely had a little too much to drink. It was all fine when the drinks were free and I was on my third rum and coke.

But then I had a whiskey sour... and remember little else.

After being extremely hungover at a Rays game the next day and eating five hot dogs, I decided not to drink for a really long time.

Yeeeeeah. Right.

It's happening again right now. I was fine at Hooters and drank two glasses of water. Then we went to another place.

Someone ordered a pitcher of beer, and I kept drinking. My glass kept being refilled.

But the killer tonight: a kamikaze.

That was baaaaad.

I'm really not the type to be at all drunk. But I definitely don't know what happened to that.

As I write this, I'm still pretty buzzed. And tired.

The worst part is, I did this with a certain member of the opposite sex that I've now gone out with a few times. And I feel sloppy.

This is so not good.

I'm never doing this again. Or at least not until tomorrow night.

A New Twist on a Popular Game

2008-07-09T19:37:00.003-04:00

I love my Guitar Hero III. It was purchased on an Amazon.com when it was marked down to $59.99 from $89.99. So far, I've gotten through all the songs except for the very last challenge to the song "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."

But here's my one gripe. Yes, I enjoy listening to classic rock - but I'd like to hear some girl music. No Doubt, Heart, The Veronicas, The Cardigans, heck - even some Kelly Clarkson.

So I mentioned that to some folks and we came up with a new version: Angry Chick Hero... This is what we came up with as a collaborative effort.

Instead of levels like "Backyard Bash" they can be called I'm Too Fat, Men Suck, Crimson Tide, etc...

And for the super Christians out there, what about "Guitar Savior" where you get to rock out with a Jesus Christ avatar??

Call Me Crazy! (Really, it's okay)

2008-07-07T22:32:00.007-04:00

Not everything that I do seems logical, or even like a good idea.

Although there are more than 6.7 billion people on Earth, there are a precious few that just... stand out. They're not like the rest. They are truly special and unique beyond the others.

I think I have figured out why. They do things that make no sense to anyone else. Often, these individuals are thought of as crazy. But I think they're the smart ones. Possessing the passion and determination above all else, they will truly change the world and make it a better place.

When you think about it, the movers and shakers such as Albert Einstein, Leonardo DaVinci, Bill Gates, Henry Ford, Christopher Columbus, Jesus Christ, Noah and so on.... they have all been considered nuts by some. Heck, Noah built an ark in the desert.

So I think that's the secret.

We will never accomplish anything significant without having other people tell us we're wrong or that we're going to fail. That's a fact of life.

It's hope that fuels our inner fires. What truly brings us to life.

Recently, I have been witness to a rather unusual situation. A dear friend of mine is someone I've really been seeking and hoping the very best for. In my opinion, they have been unfairly let down and disappointed. This person has been so influential and meaningful to me, that I would do anything to help them have a happy ending that they deserve.

Against my better judgment I made the decision to insert myself as a catalyst in the attempt to possibly help affect this person's life in a positive way. I realize that I'm writing this in a blog, but I do not wish to share the specifics of my actions. I'm not sure what this friend's reaction would be to my sort of anonymous intervention, but if they do discover it, I can only hope that they can sense my pure intentions.

It is my most genuine and heartfelt effort to do what I can in my lifelong pursuit to see the people in my life happy. At times, that means appearing insane. I am okay with that.

I've spent the past week mulling over giving in to the more reserved, passive side of myself or finally getting some unapologetic guts. And finally today, I decided to go bold and take no prisoners. It was very impulsive and daresay, crazy. And you know what? I really think things will work out for the best. What can I say? Having no regrets is the only way to go.

It felt wonderful and freeing. To be able to be honest and emotionally risky. I like it. A lot.

This may sound cliche, but giving... complete giving of yourself, is the utmost act of selflessness and unconditional love. I believe and have faith in the fact that pure, genuine love will set anyone free. We will not love until we have loved someone. No matter who you are or where you've come from, I know that's the one action that will bring healing. Peace. Joy.

I am so lucky to be able to say that there are people in my life that I truly love. Not in a romantic way. In a human way. We understand and accept each other. When they are happy, I am happy. When they feel broken, I also feel torn apart.

I will do whatever it takes to enhance the lives of the people I know. They are those truly special, crazy people. And really, the happier they are - the happier I am, too. The one thing I do wish for - is for everyone to know what joy is. And that's my mission in life.

Behind the Blog

2008-07-07T02:53:00.005-04:00

It's a little late, but I've failed to notice something.

I have never explained the name of this blog. My blog.

Becoming The Marshmallow

No, I'm not nuts about puffed sugar. It's actually an homage to the best television show ever - Veronica Mars. Why? Because I feel it's very fitting to who I am.

In the pilot, there are two instances where Veronica is referred to as a marshmallow. If you have not seen the show, Veronica is a tough, sassy, teen sleuth. Her father is the town outcast/former sheriff, her mother has abandoned her family, and her boyfriend has broken up with her because he thinks they are half brother and sister. Oh yeah, and her best friend was murdered.

This first episode paints a colorful picture of Veronica's shattered life, which she must survive daily. We learn that her father was ousted as sheriff in their small town of Neptune, California and is now making ends meet as a private investigator. We learn that Veronica was drugged and date raped at a party. Yet, she shows strength and class, humility, and compassion through it all.

After helping her new friend Wallace out with some trouble at school, he replies:

Oh no you don't. You really think I'm gonna let you get away with that? That might play with the masses, but underneath that angry young woman shell, there's a slightly less angry young woman who's just dying to bake me something. You're a marshmallow, Veronica Mars. A twinkie.

After finding out that her mother may still be in town, Veronica tracks down the motel room in question only to find it empty. Her voiceover ends the episode like this:

Okay, it's a long shot but I can't help myself. I used to think I knew what tore our family apart. Now I'm sure I don't. But I promise this: I will find out what really happened, and I will bring this family back together again. I'm sorry, is that mushy? Well, you know what they say: Veronica Mars, she's a marshmallow.

Due to some disappointments and issues during my childhood, I often tend to be guarded, distrustful, and afraid to get close to people. It's something that I've dealt with for my entire life, and there are times... like now, when it's 3 a.m. and I lie awake wondering if I will be loved, that I want to close myself off forever. That I need a hard, rigid type of strength to protect my heart.

But that's not what I need. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to be lonely. I don't want that "angry young woman shell."

And that's what this is about. The process of becoming a vulnerable, feeling, and gracious woman. One who is strong, but also open-hearted and approachable.

So yes. What I'm saying is that, I want to be a softie.

The Temporary Recluse: Part 2

2008-07-05T00:54:00.000-04:00

Tuesday: 12:31 p.m.

I have just finished helping a total stranger move his stuff into... my apartment.

Yes, you heard me right. My apartment.

He's 28.

He just returned to the States after a stint teaching English to kids in China.

Okay, that's just awesome.

His name is Drew Jackson. To describe him, I'd say he's just shy of six feet, slim yet athletic. Rather shy looking green eyes and buzzed blond hair. He looks like he's straight out of an old photo of a Navy sailor, much like my father was.

You don't see too many men who look like this. Most of the ones I run into have weird emo hairstyles or they use more styling products than their female counterparts. Kind of creepy if you ask me.

Well, with this guy as my new roommate, I'm going to have to get used to it I suppose.

The two of us stood rather awkwardly in the kitchen together. I'd long since changed into sweat pants and my company "Team Fox" t-shirt.

He sat down on a kitchen stool leaning his elbows on the island.

"I'm about to make a sandwich. Can I get you one?"

Drew raised an eyebrow. "Did you say sandwich?"

"I did. Honey roasted turkey. You interested?"

"Definitely."

Opening up the fridge, I fished out the bread, turkey, mayonnaise, and some muenster cheese. It's by far my favorite.

Five minutes later, we were munching on lunch and drinking some new pineapple mango juice that had looked appealing at the store. It was pretty damn good.

"So..." I shifted toward Drew a bit. "How do you and Kevin know each other."

"He and I actually used to be roommates." A smile came across his face. "We went to Georgetown together. Both finance majors. Freshman year we were placed together and we joined the same frat. So we just kept on living together. We're like, the perfect couple."

"And he has a sense of humor!"

"Indeed!"

"Kevin has quite the gig over at Raymond James. Is that why you came here?"

"Not at all," he shook his head. "After graduation I was over at Goldman Sachs in New York for four years. My dad is a corporate vice-president."

"Like father like son?"

His face fell just a little. "No," Drew said quietly. "Actually, that's why I'm not there anymore. I was working 70 - 80 hours a week. The money was great, but I never saw anyone outside of colleagues and clients. And the job itself... I didn't feel like I was making a difference in anyone's life. It was, well, work. I was dating this really nice girl, but I just didn't feel right at that point in my life. "

"I'm sorry to hear that. Doesn't sound like you were too happy there."

"Anyways, late one night, it must have been four or five in the morning... I found this Web site with information on how Americans can teach English in other countries. The school pays you a modest salary, your plane ticket, and an apartment in exchange for a year long contract. It sounded like just what I needed. To take a break, think about what I really wanted to do, and to help kids learn. I applied to become a teacher, and was accepted. Broke up with the girlfriend. But then I had to break the news to Dad. He really flipped. Told me that I was throwing my life away and that I was a jackass."

I took another sip of juice. "Sounds like he was less than thrilled."

"You can say that again. Long story short, I decided to go to China. He hasn't spoken to me since. My mom has written me some letters and calls and emails occasionally. She's trying to get him to soften up, but it hasn't worked."

"I'm not even sure what to say to that. I bet you miss them."

"Definitely. I wish Dad would at least see me, but he won't even let me come into the house. He cut me off completely. But just so you know, I don't regret my decision. It was the best year of my life with those kids. I just got back last month, crashed with a friend in Shadyside for awhile, then chose to come here to get my masters in Education so that I can continue working with children. While I was working, I was able to save a lot of money up. That'll pay for school."

"Oh..." I looked away for a moment. "That's a really wonderful plan."

"But enough about me," he plastered on a small forced smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Well... I'm 24. Born and raised near Buffalo. Went to a really tiny college, also in Pennsylvania. Used to live in Texas producing newscasts. Then I got this job here in the Tampa area to produce feature stories. It's a lot more low key and laid back. Not to mention, I finally get weekends and holidays off!"

"Are you happy?"

Hmm. I tilted my head to one side. "Sometimes I believe that I am. But many times, I feel like I'm totally alone. Like I don't fit in, I guess? Anywhere. You know, you're way too open to be a guy."

"A ha. And you're way too closed off to be a girl, Claire."

"That's an entirely different conversation in itself."

With that, I stood up, put our dishes in the sink, and retreated to my room.

Virtual Confessional

2008-07-04T12:35:00.004-04:00

I do not think I will drink alcohol for awhile.

It was Thirst Thursday at Bishop Tavern downtown. So we took advantage. A little too much advantage. That whole "Ladies drink free 9-12" really gets you. Myself and two other girls took a cab to Bishop's.

So we mingled, I had four rum and cokes. Then I took a break. Accidentally walked in on a dude using the urinal. In my defense, the restrooms were all single rooms and the door I opened had pictures of both a woman and man. However, the room only contained a urinal. Hmm...

My coworker met a really cute guy. They exchanged phone numbers.

A very large man asked me to keep his friend company while he walked his wife to the car? The guy was kind of cute, but was really, really uninteresting. So when a more fun coworker I knew passed by, we left this other guy sitting on a couch. I think he's probably still there texting.

I had a whiskey sour and I think that was what did me in.

All of a sudden, I couldn't walk very well. My other friend passed out on a sofa.

Before I knew it, our coworker Tom was pulling us out to the car to take us back to our original meeting spot. When we reached our destination, I immediately passed out on my friend's couch.

The next morning... let's just say was pretty rough. I found myself running to the bathroom and my stomache was not happy with me.

Around 8:30 I headed home to sleep the rest of my hangover off. And now I'm feeling a little better. Watching Nathan's 2008 Hot Dog Eating competition on ESPN. The Japanese guy and the defending champ Joey Chestnut actually tied, so there was a five dog eat-off. And Chestnut is once again, the winner. They both ate 64 hot dogs in about 12 minutes. That's quite something!

It makes me feel less bad about my stomach.

Carpe Diem

2008-07-03T19:58:00.006-04:00

So I'm sitting here in a various stage of undress, as I've got an hour to get ready to go out with some friends. It seems like there's a new kind of energy in the air. I can't explain it or describe it, but I feel like this is going to be a season of change.

I'm a firm believer that pushing your own boundaries is the quickest and most impactful way to grow. Even if it's change that hurts or is unwanted, in most cases, I really think it has a positive effect.

Recently, I've been in touch with a few close friends who I've known for years. One of them is a very passionate guy, and I really applaud his bravery in certain situations. He's handles them with class and has a very realistic grasp on what's best in the long run. Momentarily, he is hurting. But what he's going through, I know will only be for the best. He is single and recently went through a break-up.

Then there's another friend who I'm a bit worried about. On the surface, he seems to have it together more than the first guy, and comes off as very congenial and warm. But he's really not happy. He is in a relationship, and while he has good intentions, he's emotionally crippled by a past relationship.

So then I asked him if he'd feel content with his life if he were to die tomorrow. He said no. When I told him he should do something about that, discover what will truly make him happy, and do something about it now.... this was his response: "You're 100 percent right, but I doubt I'm going to do anything."

Seriously?

If you are that friend, and you're reading this, I am not criticizing your decision. What I am wondering though is why? Why waste another day feeling unsatisfied with your life? We have choices and I believe that in a way, we do choose whether to be happy... or not.

I sincerely hope that everyone can experience the many lows and highs during their years alive. I'm the type who would far prefer to live in a world full of light rather than darkness. And it makes me sad when the people in my own life are hurting and struggling when they could have joy.

You Know You're Bizarre When.You...

2008-07-02T05:30:00.003-04:00

1) Fall asleep at 10 p.m. and wake up at 5:19 a.m.
2) Can't find the DVD player remote, so no way to rewind College Road Trip
3) Have a constant craving for chicken wings and refer to yourself as the "Chicken Wing Monster"
4) Actually want to go to a baseball game on July 4th
5) Find yourself counseling other people, even when you're in the aftermath of a break-up
6) Have everyone constantly tell you that you sound much different on the phone (Really?)
7) Agree to play tennis
8) Tell a Rays player you find their 50 something year old team manager "cute"
9) Plan a Co-Ed Ladies' Night
10) Compile a list like this one

Retro Blog: Love Is In The Air

2008-06-30T21:51:00.003-04:00

First published February 14, 2007

How do I know that?

Because Howard Stern (the Sirius radio shock-jock, not Anna Nicole's lawyer man) has just gotten engaged. He popped the question to longtime girlfriend and model, Beth Ostrosky.

In other news, apparently Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy are also planning a romantic day.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against St. Valentine or cupid or even heart-shaped cookies. In fact, I really like cookies. However, I have noticed this week that lots of us feel sort of uncomfortable with February 14th. If you're in a relationship, there's pressure. Yesterday I watched as some of the guys I work with were really sweating it out. In fact, I even spoke with a police officer about feeling 'under the gun' to perform. We went from discussing a dump truck accident to how he could use slickdeals.net to find a reasonably priced flower arrangement. Men, I don't envy you at all.

What's up with those bogus Cosmo polls from 'real men' stating that 85% of males 'would love to receive flowers.' Are you serious? I find that idea somewhat farfetched.

American society has even gone so far to have special Valentine's Day episodes of television shows. How cute. I did go so far as to enjoy Brothers & Sisters this past Sunday.

In college, we were always very aware of this holiday. It's when the Student Government Association would host a chick-flick in the auditorium, you know, like Maid in Manhattan or Sweet Home Alabama and only girls would show up. Well, okay, along with one or two couples who hadn't lucked out in the restaurant reservation department. Avoiding the dorm lobbies was also a huge priority. Since we lived in single sex buildings, my dorm's lobby turned into a PG-13 (scandalous!) love scene.

Personally, I'm pretty low-key in the romance department. I like simple. I'd rather do laundry with a guy than go out for dinner and dancing. It's a little too much. Especially when I'm just getting to know someone. My favorite love stories when it comes to movies are the ones where two people are forced to spend time with each other though unusual circumstances. IE: There Goes The Neighborhood, Bringing Up Baby, The Breakfast Club, Love Actually (Colin Firth and the Portuguese housekeeper). I'm trying to think of more, but they're slipping my mind at the moment. Although I have to admit, I'm a huge sucker for John Cusack in Say Anything. That boom box scene gets me every time. Heck, that guy from Napoleon Dynamite (John Heder) could show up outside my window doing that and I'd probably go for it. But I'd prefer Anderson Cooper, even though I'm probably not his type.

One day, I hope to have that unconditional, human love for someone. Where we accept and embrace each other's flaws and shortfalls. When that happens, I get the feeling that I'll be able to do things for them that I'm afraid to do now, because it leaves me vulnerable. Making sacrifices of myself, cooking for them, supporting their dreams, merging finances, having children together. Whether we realize it or not, those are massive commitments that require a tremendous amount of trust in someone. In order to do that, one can't be so independent. That's when they become a partner, a team.

It's difficult to be hopeful when I look around and see so much brokenness. Many men and women have the downfall of not being able to give up their solo ways and realize that love is altruistic and not self serving. It's not encouraging to think, "If so many others fail, what makes me so sure I can succeed?"

One reasoning that convinces me that there is a God is knowing that two people can find each other. The belief and faith that there is someone out there in the world that will know everything about me and love me for it. That thought is just so wild that I'm positive that nothing in life is accidental. In fact, every step of the way truly has that divine purpose.

I don't always live up to this verse below, but I'm working on it...

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

-John 13:34-35

The Art of Strength & Other Fanciful Ideas

2008-06-29T19:18:00.000-04:00

Themes are present in many classic and modern pieces of literature: freedom, love conquers all, prejudice, truth, beauty, courage, greed.

Now, I will admit that identifying these abstract ideas has never been my forte. Whether it be Shakespeare, The Brothers Karamazov, Lord of the Flies, Jane Eyre, or even A Streetcar Named Desire, my primary tool was Spark Notes. I am terrible at reading between the lines. Terrible. How am I supposed to know that Piggy's glasses represented the intellectual and ordered side of humanity? And that the breaking of the glasses meant the end to the humanity that the boys possessed? Seriously!

So that's why I'm stunned that I've actually been able to pick out two different recurring themes in my own life. Weird, huh?

The first is strength. Although I'm a fairly cheerful and easy-going individual, I still cannot figure out why I am the way I am. Often, I think part of my personality tends to hide the rough patches. Almost like a fresh coat of paint over many old layers of dirt, wall paper, and 70's shades of coral Dutch Boy.

Few can suspect how beaten down, emotionally scarred, and the hurt that's made its place inside me. Being adopted, I think I'm prone to feelings of abandonment and some insecurities. The child of divorce, I tend not to believe in lasting relationships and doubt that I will experience love. As for my father, he's an okay guy, but is not the kind of model I'd use as a husband and father. Even now, he will not come visit me in Florida because his mother is the quote on quote, number one priority in his life.

We had very little financial means during my childhood. Looking back, it's quite something that I was able to go to a good college and now, four years after graduation, have most of my student loans paid off. As a 25 year old woman, I'm completely self sufficient with a great job.

Six years ago, I went through a break-up with my first boyfriend... Not very well, I might add. It took me several months to really feel again.

Less than a week ago, it happened again... with the second guy I was ever seriously involved with. I was afraid that I'd lapse into my previous state. For the first two days, it was like deja vu. But not anymore. Since then, I've gone out with friends, talked to old friends who live in other cities, even flirted a little, and feel stronger than I ever have in my entire life.

Of course, I miss him and still love him. But really, there's nothing I can do to change the situation. I will not let it cripple me or hinder me from living my life and being who I am.

Going along with the theme of strength, is survival.

It's unreal to fathom all the challenges, obstacles, joys, failures, and successes that one person takes on. I can hardly believe it myself.

Personally, I do not consider or think of myself as much of a "rock" or a survivor. But that really isn't true. In fact, I am strong and no matter what happens to me - I will prevail. You are also strong. We are able to bear much more than we think we can, and withstand the impossible. We are human.

The Temporary Recluse: Part 1

2008-06-29T05:33:00.003-04:00

This story is partly fiction (many of the tidbits about myself are true), and is based on the nights where I hole myself up and don't go out (aka: being lame)

------------------------------------------------------------------

"What are you going to do on all that time off?"

"Getting away for awhile," I told Kelly. She's my department head at the television station I work at.

"Sounds great! Where are you going?"

"Hoping to visit some college friends in Boston. We haven't seen each other in more than three years."

That actually was true. I do someday hope to make it up to Bah-stahn to visit Leah and Jared. But this time around, it just isn't happening.

Why is it that everyone seems to want to take a trip out of town to, quote on quote, "relax." I don't find anything tranquil and peaceful about that. Especially not with the bungled airport security mess, costs of being a tourist, and the confusion of being in a new place where you don't know where the heck anything is.

No thanks.

Instead, I have decided to spend one entire week in my apartment... without leaving it at all. My roommate, Kevin, was in Hong Kong on business for six months. He's a computer guy. That's all I know.

Yeah, I know it's a little crazy cat lady. But I'm allergic to cats anyhow.

I spend a lot of time with people. And talking to people. And being annoyed by people. And being disappointed by people.

Not quite the party you'd imagine.

So the first plan of action was to secure rations for my week in exile.

Thank God for the Publix down the street. Here is the rundown on my diet for the week. (I did leave a few spaces in there for some pizza/Chinese delivery)

Bread
Eggs
4 frozen California Pizza Kitchen pizzas (Barbecue Chicken variety)
Milk
Soda
Deli turkey & roast beef
Cheese
Ice cream
2 Stouffer's frozen lasagna dishes
Bacon
Juice

Total cost: $42.77

Really, that would be how much I'd pay for 2-3 meals at a restaurant on a vacation.

Between work and all sorts of social commitments, I hardly get time to recharge the batteries and contemplate deeper issues.

Very few people get the chance to be totally alone. I think it's crucial to figure out who you are and what you want out of your life. Why go through days, weeks, months, and years without even having direction and passion?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I spent the weekend doing stuff totally for me. Re-reading Shmuley Boteach's "Hating Women" which is one of the most influential books I've ever had the pleasure of poring over. Seriously, give it a try. I promise it's not some feminazi crap. Taking several long, hot baths. Cooking dinner. Baking cookies. Eating out on the lanai.

Of course that also means sleeping in, and staying up way too late watching my TV on DVD sets.

Monday, I did not get out of bed until 3 o' clock in the afternoon. Then I organized my closet, did four loads of laundry, and gave myself a pedicure and an at-home facial. At night, I watched six episodes of Designing Women.

Tuesday morning I actually woke up rather early, at 8 a.m.. As I stepped out of the shower, there was a knock at the door. Oh crap. On went the ratty bathrobe. I was not expecting anyone.

This is going to sound like the beginning of a porno, but on the landing, was a rather attractive man.

I'm completely serious. And it wasn't a pizza guy.

"I'm Drew," he introduced himself while trying to shake my hand.

"Claire. Can I help you with something?" I asked furtively. "Are you one of those Kirby vaccuum cleaner dudes? Cutco knives? I'm guessing you're not with Avon..."

Then I noticed a large pack at his feet.

"I'm not too into cosmetics," he laughed. "Old buddy of Kevin Watson's."

"I do know him. He lives here. Well, usually. But I'm afraid you missed him. He left for Asia a few weeks ago."

Drew looked slightly confused. "He didn't say anything about me coming? I'm from Pittsburgh. Kevin and I have an arrangement for me to sublet his apartment-"

What? I stood speechless. Absolutely speechless.

The guy handed me a letter on Kevin's company letterhead. It was easy to tell by the verbage, that the note had indeed been written by Kevin.

"He sent me a key, but I thought I shouldn't just come barging in." Drew then held up the silver key that matched mine exactly.

Who IS this guy?

"Uhh... Do you need help with your stuff?"

--------------------------------------------------------

Anybody interested in seeing a Part 2, let me know!

My Real Heartache

2008-06-25T20:01:00.006-04:00

Teardrops.

They won't stop rolling and pouring down my face. Every time I've had a solitary moment today, moisture welled up in my eyes. I tried the whole, pretend your eyes are watering thing. Not working too well.

Haven't slept at all in two days. I've spent hours in my bed completely restless. Ate a little this morning, but don't have much of an appetite at all.

Over the past day, I've had flashbacks of many memories over the time we were together. The very first time I saw you. It was at your house last year. You had bright, kind, eyes and such an engaging way about you. I liked you instantly. That night. You told me I needed to sit next to you and talked to me for hours, after our friends had drifted off to sleep.

Over the past year, I've really grown to love you. I could picture our life together, with me by your side as your career grew. Sleeping in on Sunday mornings and making breakfast. Going dancing and spending evenings with family and friends. You're the only one I've ever thought of having children with and I know we could have had a beautiful family.

The hardest part was being four hours away, and not being able to have what most people call a "normal" relationship. It does feel strange to mostly see your love on the weekends, but I enjoyed every minute I've spent with you.

Why can't you be in love with me, too? I'd give anything for you to have those feelings for me. I understand that you don't think it's fair to be with me if you're not sure about a real commitment. But I can't understand why you won't take a chance with me. In my head, I can't help wonder why and how. You spent so long letting me get attached to you, only to leave me alone again.

Maybe I do deserve "better" as you said, but that's not what I desire at all. I only want you.

I'm torn between swearing off you forever and wanting to run to you so you can hold me.

My heart hurts.

Barely Legal? Hardly the Case

2008-06-23T21:15:00.003-04:00

It's not that often that I take the time and money to play the Florida Lotto. But lately, I've been buying a few dollars worth on a weekly basis. Hey, you never know who will win the jackpot, right?

Today I went into a Rally on Ulmerton near work to fill up for $3.97 and then stepped into the store to buy $5 in tickets. When it was my turn at the register, I asked for the tickets. The clerk asked, "Are you 18?"

Laughing, I said that I was. "Would you like some ID?"
Clerk: "Actually, yes."

Wow. Occasionally I'm carded at bars and restaurants, but for lottery tickets?? Hahaha. It was rather flattering though, having someone think you might be a minor when in fact, you're closing in on 26.

I wonder if it had anything to do with the honey and aspirin mask I've been applying at night. My skin has been great since I've started doing that. And yes, I'm rather petite and have a youthful appearance.

Let's just hope that helps my lotto luck Wednesday night!

Seriously??

2008-06-22T22:32:00.004-04:00

Don't get me wrong, I love the male species. You guys have so many wonderful qualities and I feel so lucky to have so many good ones in my life.

But sometimes... to quote a friend... Men just... suck.

Yep, you heard me right. Suck.

Currently, I'm in a fairly serious relationship. Well, the guy went to Chicago for his brother's graduation.. and besides like, two four word text messages, I didn't hear from him for four days.. And that was only when I texted him to say "Hey, haven't heard from you." When I asked him why he couldn't find five minutes to call me, his answer was, "My phone was dead." But his entire family has the same phone/chargers. Oh well. I hate having to tell men what I want, because then when they do it... it doesn't really mean anything. It's an empty action.

For about two years I was very into another guy that I was friends with. When he was sick, I brought him a pizza and medicine. We went to grab coffee, we went hiking, we talked Instant Messenger for hours at a time. I truly felt a connection with him, and like we really understood each other. He had a crush on one of my friends, and pursued her even though she was high maintenance and very non-compatible with him. I waited it out. One day, I thought, he'd realize that I was perfect for him.

When he asked me to go to a fancy work function, I thought that maybe there was a chance of something happening. Instead, we stayed for dinner and left before dancing even started. It was a magical evening. (Not really)

And that fairytale ending never happened. I even laid my heart on the line, only to be shot down with this answer "I'm lost in the sauce and out to lunch." And that God was calling him to be single at the time. Yeah. Right.

So apparently he has a new girlfriend. And I'll be frank - she's totally unattractive. How anti-climactic is that? That's why I titled this post "Seriously??"... because that was my response. Couldn't he at least have gone for somebody cuter if he's going to shoot girls like me down? Apparently not.

There are days when I can watch WE television's bridal shows and can dream along with all the other honeys sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea and a kitten.

But that isn't today.

Right now, I'd rather not have to deal with that crap.

Sorry guys. I'm a little pissed off.

What happens to witnesses?

2008-06-19T22:01:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel like you’re not doing enough with your life? Like you want to start fresh and have a completely different existence?

Lately, I’ve become hooked on In Plain Sight, a new dramedy on USA about a team of U.S. Marshals who work with people in the Witness Protection Program, or Witsec, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I find the process and the show fascinating.

What happens to people if someone wants them dead? Move away from everyone and everything you know... Never talk to anyone from your past. Get a new name, new job, new life. It has to be extremely strange.

And what if someone you currently know is in the witness protection program, and used to have another life. What if they’re a money launderer or drug runner?? So weird to think about.

Anyhow, I’m going to keep on watching In Plain Sight and the sassy repertoire of Mary Shannon.

What's Wrong With A Taxi?

2008-04-26T02:46:00.002-04:00

Tonight I found this posting on Craigslist. A friend of mine has been perusing the personals, and out of curiosity I checked out a few.

This posting was in the "Women Seeking Women" section oddly enough.

This is the verbage:

I am looking for someone who can pick up my wife and I (you must have a nice or average car) on edgewater in Clearwater at 6pm on Sunday and bring us to bon jovi, then pick us up when it is over and go out for some drinks. You must be the designated driver obviously, but you can spend some time talking with us and see where it leads. As we are looking for some new friends as well. We moved here 4 years ago and have been so busy outside of family we really don’t know anyone closely. I am willing to pay 150.00 to drive us there, pick us up and spend a couple of hours with us after the concert. I will be away from the computer from here on out and checking emails on my cell phone which has limited capability. So please leave phone # attach a pic and be serious about this.
Thanks,

Wow... I'm not even sure what to say. First of all, the pictures of this couple have the heads cut off and in one photo the man is grabbing the woman's boob.
The $150 to chauffeaur the couple to a concert doesn't sound bad on it's own, although if that's all they want - what about calling a cab?
If they expect a hot lady cab driver/sex buddy - shouldn't they at least invite her to the show, too? Excluding her seems fairly rude.
Spend a couple of hours with them after the concert??? So they can kidnap this person, torture them, and leave them left for dead off a freeway exit? This posting definitely has potential serial killing written all over it.
I'm sure this guy will definitely need to be constantly checking his cell phone for the barrage of emails he'll be getting.
In fact, I'm crafting my own response right now!

A Total Loss of the Weekend

2008-04-02T21:06:00.000-04:00

For six years, I've had a bright blue Ford ZX2. It's not a particularly wonderful car. It rumbled loudly every time I drove it, had a bad window seal problem so driving at higher speeds popped my ears, and has horrible safety ratings.

But still, it was my car. Paid off and reliable. I was not looking for a new vehicle anytime soon. In fact, just the other day I was thinking that I'd be driving it for another three years or so. No mechanical problems. Last month I had the spark plugs changed and a new gasket kit put on by one of the Brighthouse mechanics who work down in our parking garage.

This past Friday, AJ came to visit me. On the street outside my complex a large bird smacked into the windshield of his Honda CR-V. It destroyed the windshield, leaving feathers stuck in the glass and shards lying all over the interior. AJ showed up with little cuts all over his arms and face - bleeding out from all of them.

We were then down to a single vehicle - mine.

So the next day, we decided to go to the beach to check out a skim boarding event that our crew was out at shooting for a story. We ate lunch with three of my coworkers, then walked a few blocks back to my car. I'd parked on a side street off the main strip. Running perpendicular to some roads are little drainage culverts, ditches, apparently they're called "Miami curves."

At the first intersection, I stopped for the sign, then proceeded to move forward. About three feet later, my little car bottomed out letting out a loud screech. The airbags deployed, hitting AJ and I. That broke my windshield. With the air pressure increase, the moon roof broke. The drivers side door broke in half and the window broke. The front axle bent, leaving one tire sticking out. All for going under 5 mph.

Several people standing on the corner saw the entire thing unfold. They asked us if we were okay, and one man said cars bottom out quite often and are damaged. He called the police.

The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office showed up, but would not issue a police report because technically, I didn't "hit" anything. Hello? I made her give me a card for information. I collected one of the witness' phone numbers and address. He lives on that corner.

The sheriff's deputy actually told me to try to drive the car back to my place, about 15 miles away. AJ and I managed to do this. With a broken windshield and deployed airbags.

For the next two days, I had no car. My insurance claim was taken, but the adjustor wasn't in until Monday. Saturday night, I'd gotten us tickets to see a comedian I like. We ended up ordering pizza ihstead.

Monday, I got a rental car while AJ waited for the Glass Doctor to come and fix his Muskogee Duck Destroyed windshield. The adjustor told me to start looking for another car, because mine is most likely totaled. A towing company was supposed to come either Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning to take my car to the insurance company's lot for inspection. It's now Wednesday and that still hasn't been done.

Yesterday I spent two hours at a Toyota dealership and found a car that I like. I put a deposit on it to hold the car, but it's completely refundable. Quite a bit needs to happen in order to get this whole process moving. The insurance company is slow as molasses.

I called the city of Indian Rocks beach to put in a complaint against those dips in the roads. There are no signs, it TOTALED my car, and other cars have been damaged. The guy I spoke with basically told me to screw off. This weekend I'm going to draft an official letter.

So now I wait. I really hate waiting.

Live Trucks Burnin' Rubber

2008-03-13T19:56:00.001-04:00

This incident happened in the city I used to live in, between two rival TV stations other than the one I was employed at. Probably not a great idea to race a $500,000 piece of technology.

Millionaire Matchmaker

2008-03-02T23:45:00.000-05:00

Don't miss the season finale of this amazing reality show!

Things I Don't Understand About The World

2008-03-01T00:52:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I just have to scratch my head...

1) Why John Tesh has a radio show where he gives advice on topics such as parenting and career hunting

2) Lipstick Jungle - frankly the show sucks. I caught an episode last night and it's so, so, so, so bad. Seriously, who cares about the tired storyline and what Brooke Shields is up to now. And the sex on the washing machine scene is so Varsity Blues.

3) Rehashed ideas on television and in films. For instance, American Gangster. Decent movie, but it stole tons of material from movies like Catch Me If You Can and Blow. Saw Definitely, Maybe and I hated how a cute kid was thrown into the mix to make the movie more likeable. It's kind of sickening.

4) A La this week's Celebrity Apprentice - why would anyone truly want yogurt in their moisturizer???

5) Why so many couples go to the mall for Valentine's Day?

Renaissance Faire-Game

2008-02-25T20:51:00.006-05:00

This past weekend my guy took me to a Renaissance Fair in South Florida. For an entrance fee of $20 a pop, we were in. Into what, you may ask? A world filled with wenches, knights, and realistic-looking weaponry.

Being in Florida, it was exceptionally hot. I felt like I was wilting in the sun, and although there was brew aplenty, I stuck to Gatorade. My hair stuck to my head, and I was grateful for my choice of shorts and a tank top.

I had no idea what to expect from this thing. The college I went to had an organization called the Order of St. George which was sort of a medieval thing. Fellow students would dress up in period costumes and have a literal feast.

People at this shindig were dressed quite similarly. According to wikipedia, the European renaissance era is considered to be from the 14th to 17th centuries. Well, the costumes worn around the festival seemed somewhat interesting. There were quite a wench lady outfits on the women. And for the dudes? There were lots of Robin Hood and Sir. William Wallace types trolling around.

It was like a mix of being transported back in time, or on a movie set. Then there were the pirates. Now, I do realize that pirates existed during that time -- but it seemed a little out of place for a Renaissance festival. The type of costumes I'd expect to see with a pirate would be something out of Pirates of the Caribbean (obviously). It seemed a little Gasparilla-ish to me.

Then there were the people dressed as fairies. That gave the event sort of a Lord of the Rings feel.

I think a lot of people are confused as to how they can dress "Renaissance-y". So they take creative liberties with the costumes.

So on to the merriment and entertainment! There was a tiny elf of a girl hanging by ribbons, who I swear is the most flexible female alive. Then the wishing well wenches, who actually licked audience participants.

And the R-rated seemingly drunk guy in his underbritches singing songs like "Beer is better than women" and another one that was about a medieval orgy. What blew me away was how many parents didn't mind their children listening to some fairly graphic lyrics. At one point in his song, a family stopped by and started listening. The town singer then said, "And for the family who just got here and has no idea what's going on - you might want to move on. This is an R-rated show!"

And lastly some fun jugglers named Pyro and Gyro, who picked out my guy AJ as a potential participant. They asked him to beat his chest, pretend to be The Thinker, and quote lines of Shakespeare. I was actually shocked that AJ did not know any. Instead, the beefcake guy wearing a gold chain belted out the Shakespeare like he was reciting the Lord's Prayer. What a strange world we live in.

One thing I did forget to do. That's eat one of those turkey legs. But perhaps I'm better off, since they probably cost $20 also.

Guide to Picking Up Asian Women

2008-02-25T00:45:00.001-05:00

Jen's best advice for men looking for their 'oriental flower'

Please, not the Vay-Jay-Jay!

2008-02-21T20:52:00.002-05:00

Jen expresses her opinion on the March 2008 issue of Cosmopolitan.

Should You Settle?

2008-02-20T22:31:00.002-05:00

Here's my response to the Atlantic article titled, "Marry Him" as referenced in my post on love.

Jen Video Blogs!

2008-02-20T22:24:00.000-05:00

Where Is The Love?

2008-02-17T23:21:00.014-05:00

Everywhere I look, I can't seem to escape it. If it's not someone in my life expressing their confusion about the topic, seeing articles debating countless 'schools of thought,' or wondering about it myself. I just cannot get away. Love.

Is it the core of our being that makes us human, a cruel hoax that we're made to believe exists thanks to chick flicks, or a happy little bonus in our otherwise mundane lives.

I really don't know.

A few years ago, back in October of 2005, (It was shocking to realize how old this blog is), my college gal pals founded a blog to talk about love, the lack thereof, and be able to share ideas and thoughts. Slowly and quite unbelievably, Fabulous Females has been viewed over 40,000 times and has featured dozens of contributors. The most surprising... many of them MEN. I'm still proud of our guy contributors for not being embarassed to post on a blog with the color pink as a theme.

One of the posts that has stood out to me over all this time was written by my college friend and sorority sister, Margy. Titled, "The One" - The Man. The Myth. The Legend.

While trying to locate Margy's post so that I could re-read it's contents, I came to a conclusion. We've been blogging away on Fabulous Females for about two and a half years. Although it's been very uplifting, supportive, and has created a wonderful community of young people - I truly wonder if any of us feel ANY closer to figuring out love. Love. That age old enigma, mystery of life, what supposedly makes the world go round.

I know a guy who isn't sure what it is. He says his parents have it and he wants it for himself. (I know his parents, and they do seem very happily in love) He's a bold, intelligent, interesting, friendly, passionate, strong man. Until recently, I had no idea he was so clueless about this. But then it hit me - he's far from alone.

When this guy asked me for my definition, I had a difficult time giving him one. I felt like that Supreme Court justice Potter Steward, who, when asked what pornography was, replied, "I may not be able to define it, but I know it when I see it." That may sound absurd, but it hits home for me. Two people may feel exactly the same way about each other and one person may be sure it's love, the other may not. If everyone's definition of love is different, does love really exist as a definable term? Why would it if no one can agree on what the heck it is?

Many of us probably think, "Sure, I know what love is." But do we? I'm now convinced that the majority of the modern population wouldn't know love if it bit them in the ass while on fire. Scary isn't it? Someone can think they're in love one minute, then question it the next. It happens all the time. There are no guarantees.

What does that mean for marriage? It's no wonder divorce rates are so high, extramarital affairs are so prevalent, and singles feel terrified to date. If we don't know what love is, if everyone's definition contrasts, and no one knows how to love - we're never going to have it. When I looked up the term "soulmate" I got this article on about.com as one of the results.

Quite randomly, my friend Melinda sent me an interesting article on "Settling" which linked to this article. It was written by a single woman who had a child on her own via a sperm donor. While I'm not sure if I agree on her points for settling for someone you're not in love with, I did find some of her arguments to be interesting. Including her answer to this question:

How, then, do you know a relationship is right?

Our culture has this view that you should just know if someone’s right for you. And that when you just know you’ll have no ambivalence or reservations, and you’ll never wonder if you’re truly in love, even if you fight all the time and you break up 17 times the way Rachel and Ross did in Friends or Carrie and Big did in Sex and the City. And so often you’ll hear in fiction or film or TV, or even at people’s weddings, these accounts of “We knew from the very first date, or after two weeks, that we would end up together.”

I have trouble with that because I’ve felt that certainty with boyfriends when I first met them. I’ve felt that incredible He’s the one or I just know. But then six months or a year or two years later we discovered we weren’t right for each other. It reminds me of the old Chris Rock joke that goes something like: “In the first three months of a relationship, you’re not you, you’re the ambassador of you.” How can you “just know” as soon as you meet someone? You have to peel the onion of who that person is and figure out if you work together.

Meantime, another friend of mine, Sarah, had this to say about the subject:

I hate our cultural definition of love. It's becoming intolerable to me that people always count the depth of love by the depth of their feelings. It sets couples up for huge disappointments when real life sets in -- in every romantic comedy, there's some kind of period where the couple has a fight/miscommunication/misunderstanding and split for awhile, but then they make up in the end, and for the last ten minutes of the movie everything is swoony and happily-ever-after, and that's where it ends. And people seem to expect the same kind of thing in their actual relationships -- that when something happens to "lessen" the feelings of love, the "make up" period will bring all the romance and perfect giddiness back.

It doesn't work that way. People have fights. People have individual needs that continually war with a unified relationship. Love isn't about feelings. It's about choice, commitment, sacrifice and action. When the feelings are there, it's nice and wonderful, but they won't always be there, especially in the long term, when couples undergo multiple ordeals together that strains their relationship. The reason so many relationships, even marriages, fall apart at that stage is they base the reality of their love on how they feel. Rather like in the parable of the sower, those seeds that "receive the word with joy," but have no root, and wither as soon as some kind of tribulation occurs.

Love, real love, isn't how you feel. It's what you DO. Love is about getting past flimsy feelings, which come and go depending on circumstances, hormonal changes (even in guys), tiredness, stress levels, and expectation. Love is about choice. If you love someone, and say you do, it means you're CHOOSING to love them, as in love them actively, sacrificing yourself when called to, and committing yourself to the other person regardless of how you might feel.

Men these days in particular don't seem to understand this at all. They get themselves "confused" because they have no clue what it means to love.

Read 1 Corinthians 13. Nowhere in those amazing verses which truly and biblically define love does it mention, "Love is always aware of itself based on feelings." What it does say, over and over, is that a person's actions demonstrate that person's love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

I agree that chemistry is important in an intimate relationship, and that a relationship ought to start with those feelings of excitement and affection and sexual tension and joy and emotional intimacy and physical connection...so if there was never any of that to begin with, forget it. But as a relationship progresses, the good hard facts need to be taken into account, and those facts include the ebb and flow of romantic feelings. A guy who doesn't understand that during the dating period will have difficulty understanding that in marriage. If he has no concept of the real depth of true love, and what love entails, he's still immature.

And besides, the concept of "the one" is stupid.

We deserve someone who will choose to love you in action, as well as regard us with affection, romance, and tenderness. The latter without the former is trying to live on a diet of ice cream -- fun at first, but unfulfilling and nutritionally deprived.

I am continually disappointed with the lack of love that exists in the world. People can have a tendency to be selfish, heartless, and void of any real emotions in their lives. I see it all the time. The ones who care about the way their perceived, but don't realize they're missing out on the real deal. A life worth living, one that's full of cherished relationships and memories.

My favorite new TV show is the Millionaire Matchmaker on Tuesday nights on Bravo.

Patti Stanger has hit the nail on the head. I absolutely love this woman. She's a Jewish matchmaker for millionaires to meet their true loves. She's a gal I've come to admire for making her life's work helping people lead happier lives. Fat Jewish Guy got to interview her at a Sephora store, and I have to say... I'm jealous.

Her mission is to return men and women to more proper courtship and has strict rules for her dating club. This show is fascinating and oddly, I feel I've learned some very valuable things from it. And for once, a reality TV show that doesn't glorify horrendous female/male behavior is on the airwaves.

I'm not a person who's had a ton of experience with love, but I'm in love now. It didn't happen from a checklist of qualifications, or from a magical fairytale land. It exists for me, and I'm not exactly sure how.

One conclusion I've come to is that real love doesn't have restrictions, limits, or needs. It is more of an 'unconditional' state of being. It is given freely without expecting anything in return. You're able to love regardless of the outcome, consequences, or hurt that you experience through the process.

Anyhow, my challenge to you out there is to have that quest for yourself. Try to figure out the meaning of the most important emotion/relationship that's out there. If you don't know what it is, how are you going to experience love? As Patti Stanger says, "Once you have it, you'll never want anything else."

And I have a mission. To do my best to figure out this thing called love and help others experience love in their lives. That's a promise.

Typecasting

2008-02-17T22:18:00.002-05:00

This evening while watching the Princess Diaries (don't ask), I was suddenly struck by a realization about Hector Elizondo. I realize that he's had plenty of roles in films and on screen, but how come I can't get him out of that "domestic help" mindset... after he played a hotel concierge in Pretty Woman and as Anne Hathaway's driver/friend in the Princess Diaries.

What Dreams May Come

2008-02-12T08:36:00.000-05:00

Last night I hit the pillow at 10 o'clock at night. About three hours earlier than usual. Nothing has ever felt better. I was literally in dream land until 7:30 this morning.

Two nights ago, my sleep was not that restful and I woke up every few hours. The night before that, I slept for about 12 hours off and on. I know, I know. That's quite inconsistent.

One thing that's been happening is a steady stream of vivid, clear, dreams. As a child, I dreamed very often. For awhile, I kept a journal of my dreams. Doing this actually helps tremendously in recalling details. It also causes one to remember more dreams. On average, I read that you can have several dreams per sleep session. Sometimes I'd have five to seven dreams per night. But writing every day in that journal just got more difficult as I grew older and eventually it stopped altogether.

I'm also convinced that a few of the dreams I've had (they were more like flashes of a situation) actually ended up happening. Sort of like de ja vu. For instance, I'd have a dream where I'd be standing by the water fountain at school with certain people around and months later, I'd find myself in the exact same scenario.

Over the past year I've had the recurring dream in which I can fly. Yes, that's very Nathan Petrelli/West from Heroes. It's an incredible feeling I have in these dreams. So freeing, light, and strong. All it takes is a little running start and I can shoot up over buildings into the clouds, and be anywhere in the world in just a few minutes. Thinking about how much I could save on travel costs is also nice to think about! This is hands down the best dream I've ever had. So much that I want it to be real.

Last night I had two dreams that I can remember. In the first, I get a puppy. It's one of the tiniest dogs in existence... something like a miniature dachshund maybe? For some reason I'm a college or high school student and leave the dog in the women's restroom while I'm in class.

But then I ended up at an airport in Buffalo, NY where I'm from. I had a 9:26 am flight to Switzerland??? Since I'd forgotten to bring a digital camera, I was looking desperately in the airport stores for one but the selection was terrible. Across the street from the airport I could see a Target, but I couldn't justify going because one of the airport stores was a very pared down Target.

It was at this point that I woke up.

Lifestyle Check

2008-02-04T21:32:00.000-05:00

In the past week I've worked out twice, eaten reasonably healthy, have cleaned the condo I share with a roommate, and even cooked dinner once.
To me that's strange, because I'm more prone to sluggish behavior than most. If there were no consequences in life, I'll admit that my diet would consist of McD's, Pizza Hut, Hooters, and Chinese food.

In high school, I did pretty much eat that all. Never worked out. Weighed about 85 lbs. Took golf lessons one summer at my grandfather's country club. Got my butt kicked by elementary school students. Took tennis lessons, and it was obvious that I caused the instructor great pain. Gym teachers hated me.

In college, I still at all that. Never worked out. Weighed about 90 lbs. At potato chips during our required freshman gym class "fitness & wellness" otherwise dubbed "fit hell." It was great!

Currently: eat much less. Work out occasionally. Weigh about 110 lbs. That's not much, but a 20 lb. weight gain post-college is a bit of a flag. Personally, I don't care to gain any more weight. I like being this size, but feel being larger would be problematic.

Down in the midsection, I do have a bit of a stomach. I'm beginning to feel slightly self conscious when I wear a two-piece swimsuit.
It would be nice to be physically fit. To be able to do jogging and other light sports. To play a little tennis, go skiing, and such without feeling dead the next day.
Tonight after work, I arrived home, put a load of laundry in, changed, went to the fitness center at the complex, actually exercised for half an hour, walked home, heated up a Lean Cuisine salmon and pasta dinner and watched Designing Women. It seemed so unlike myself (except for the Designing Women part - I've been doing that for about ten years now)

This year, for 2008, I hope to be a slightly better version of myself. A more put together, organized, less freaked out version. It's doable. I know it.

Is That Funny?

2008-01-29T18:06:00.000-05:00

One habit I have, and can't seem to break is starting to drive me crazy.
When I'm going about my day, I tend to think of different situations as a Saturday Night Live sketch.

It made me realize how pervasive the television program is when one actually thinks, "Hey, that would make a great SNL sketch!"

Several months ago I dreamed up one sketch featuring an incompetent news photographer who would always get horrible video, ask strange questions, and annoy coworkers.

Today at work, someone ordered a "Primary Day" cake for the newsroom to celebrate the Florida Primary. It was yellow and white, with confetti and American flags all over it. That would be kind of humorous to see a row of them at the grocery store. There could also be ones for other strange occasions, like a 9/11 commemorative cake with twin towers on it, or Yom Kippur. Hey, why not? That totally screams SNL sketch. Some of the cakes could even be obscenely inappropriate.

I wonder if there's SNL fan fic out there?

Sketch comedy is a wonderful form of artistic and comedic expression. From the days of Gilda Radner, to Will Ferrell, to David Spade, to Tina Fey.

Many very successful comedians and comediennes have gotten their start from improv, such as The Second City (john Belushi, Biill Murray, Dan Akroyd, Eugene Levy, James Belushi, Shelley Long, Andy Dick, Dan Castellaneta, Bonnie Hunt, Mike Myers, Christ Farley, Tim Meadows, Stephen Colbert) or the Groundlings (will Ferrell, Will Forte, Ana Gasteyer, Topher Grace, Kathy Griffin, Phil Hartman, Chris Kattan, Lisa Kudrow, Jon Lovitz, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Cheri Oteri, Chris Parnell, Paul Reubens, Maya Rudolph, Ashley Tisdale).

Many of these performers found success in movies and television on Saturday Night Live, MAD TV, and Reno 911!

So do you have any ideas for fun SNL sketches?

Christmas is Coming...

2007-12-16T22:51:00.000-05:00

...And I still haven't sent out gifts to my parents. Or any Christmas cards. I suck. I guess my folks will have to consider them after-Christmas presents?

Men vs. Women?

2007-12-11T21:53:00.000-05:00

I’ve never perused Modern Bride dreaming about wedding dresses, cake, invitations, and honeymoons. But like most women, I one day hope to be married to that special person.

As a woman, I find men fun to be around, good at conversation, and I enjoy being treated like a lady. Doors opened for me, getting help changing that tire, and being courted. It’s really nice and I appreciate all that’s been done for me thanks to you guys.

But Guys – I have a confession – sometimes I wonder what planet you all came from. Why is it that one minute you’re sweet and the next completely oblivious, rude, and obnoxious?

Like most human beings I have a desire for meaningful, sometimes deep conversations with the people in my life. If someone can’t hold my interest for 10 minutes, there’s no way I’d want to spend my life with them, or even get stuck in an elevator with them. No thanks.

Lately I find my boyfriend and I slipping into a weird pattern into where I feel like I’m dating someone in high school. He hangs out with all his high school friends and spends all of his free time glued to his computer screen playing either World of Warcraft or Hellgate London.
I never dated high school guys, and I have to admit, feeling like that now can get on my nerves.
We don’t get to see each other that often, as he lives four hours away in Fort Lauderdale. He’s generally a nice guy.

But… While talking on AIM the other night, I asked him if he could call me so we could talk. 30 minutes later he did, but judging by the sound effects in the background he was rather distracted by WOW and whatever else he was doing at the time to try and ineffectively “multitask.” (He’s not very good at it, by the way) It’s something he does just about every night.

I was a bit annoyed by all the delayed responses over the phone and told him I was going to “let him go” and get off the phone. Really, I was hoping he would give up the computer game and chat with me for a little bit. He didn’t.

After hanging up, I couldn’t shake that pissed off feeling. And to tell you the truth, I still haven’t. He’s tried to Instant Message me, and I think I got a text from him. No response back from me so far.

Is this an over reaction on my part? I don’t feel like it is.

What's My Age Again?

2007-12-09T23:23:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I had to work at this huge alternative concert. For weeks before, I figured the logistics would go horribly wrong and that the amphitheatre would be packed, crowded, and chaotic. It was, but much more so than I anticipated.

One of the cool parts of the day was field producing interviews with two of the bands performing, Angels & Airwaves, and Jimmy Eat World.

Let me preface this by saying that back in high school my friend Amy and I were Blink-182 fans. We loved the music video for All The Small Things, which mocks boybands. And of course, we had teen crushes on Mark Hoppus and Tom DeLonge. (This is not nearly as extreme as my Anderson Cooper crush, though!)

Tom DeLonge is now a member of Angels & Airwaves. According to Wikipedia, he is married with two children. So when I see him and introduce myself, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, "I remember seeing you running naked across a beach." This was referencing the What's My Age Again? music video wherein the band runs naked through the streets and various settings. His response while touching my arm, "I'm so sorry Are you okay?"

He seems like a pretty cool guy. Regardless of the fact that I saw video of him on YouTube in which he appears drunk during an interview and cusses incessantly. At least he's cute.

Adding That Extra "N"

2007-11-15T21:04:00.000-05:00

Moving is frequently cited as one of the most stressful life events, after the death of a loved one, divorce or illness.
While the reasons for moving can be positive – such as the purchase of a house or job promotion – settling into a new home, connecting to a new environment and recreating a home are almost always chaotic and stressful. (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry)

The first time I moved was during infancy, crossing the globe from South Korea to the states at age 10 months…. The second, into a college dorm room at age 18… Then to El Paso, TX for a job at age 21… Now to Tampa for another job at age 25.

There is one noticeable difference between this move and every other. Somehow in this one, my nickname changed.

Growing up, I’ve been called everything from Jenny Benny, to Steffen, to Jen Steffens, to Jenny Jones, to Joneser, to Steve-Jen – and of course – the standard Jen. After college, I tried to shed my teen-girl image by referring to myself as “Jennifer” professionally and personally. In El Paso, everyone from my boss to my coworkers to my friends went with that. I liked it.

Somehow, that all changed with the move to Florida. It’s actually quite odd. Everyone I’ve met here now calls me “Jen” but apparently one “n” was not good enough. It’s now spelled “Jenn.” I’ve never spelled my name in this fashion, but everyone here seems to think that’s quite common.

For my entire life, I’ve thought the common spelling for Jen was “Jen.” Apparently not. It’s Jenn. Either way, I don’t mind how my nickname is spelled. It’s just sort of unusual that until a few months ago, I’d never really had anyone spell it with two “n’s.”

The first person to do this was my boss. In emails she would use Jenn instead of Jennifer or Jen. Then that snowballed into more folks when they would see that on her emails… Then AJ wrote Jenn on my birthday card. And just a few days ago, my step-father’s sister-in-law did the same in an email.

Now, I’m not frustrated or perturbed by this – more so perplexed if anything.

Why do Floridians spell it Jenn, while others across the country do it the Jen way. I’ve assumed for a long time that the world is becoming smaller and cultural differences are slowly disappearing. Perhaps that’s not the case. Living in several different areas of the country has opened my eyes to both the obvious and subtle regional inconsistencies and differences.

Living in Buffalo, I know that soda is “pop” and pizza and wings are the inseparable duo.
Until living in El Paso, I had no idea what a quinceanera was until walking through the mall and seeing a bunch of teenagers who appeared to be dressed like a wedding party.
Still, I really wish I could roll my “r’s” - but that’s not going to happen.
Until living in Pittsburgh, I did not know you could end a sentence with a proposition.
(There was once a sign in a dorm lobby that said “TV needs fixed”)
And now I know that in Florida, I’m Jenn.

What I accomplished this weekend:

2007-11-04T20:52:00.000-05:00

Discovered the entire 75% off candy aisle at Target
Got a facial Saturday morning at our local beauty academy at 1/3 of what a spa charges
Talked on the phone with boyfriend for way too long, as usual
Downloaded Internet channel for the Wii. Super cool feature!
Attended friend's boyfriend's art gallery showing
Met and spent the evening with a random group of people, culminating in a car theft
Exercised for the first time this month
Wore a bikini outdoors in November
Made dinner courtesy of Taco Bell's kit in a box
Frustratingly found out my health flex spending account card is MIA
Watched Revenge of the Nerds III and IV

Hilton Head

2007-10-31T21:47:00.000-04:00

Last month I realized I was in serious need of some solo R&R time. So I spent a long weekend in Hilton Head, SC. Kept activities minimal, but did try out some hiking at a cool island preserve and got my first kayaking lesson. That was awesome. Also took some photos and here they are...

Walking on the beach was the first order of business.

Feeling foam at my feet is invigorating.

The beach was crisp and breezy, unlike Florida at the time.

Clear skies greeted me my first day there.

Are they looking for bread crumbs and abandoned hot dogs?

It didn't take long for these flip-flops to come off!

Also evidenced by this picture.

Ice Breaker

2007-10-31T20:57:00.000-04:00

Recently, I attended my first hockey game with my boyfriend. In my lifetime, I’ve been to a handful of professional sporting events. They include approximately five baseball games. That’s it. Unless one college basketball and football game each counts. Somehow I doubt it.
AJ enjoys hockey. I have nothing against hockey. So Saturday night we headed to the St. Pete Times Forum for the Lightning vs. Sabres game. Since I’m from Buffalo and just moved to Tampa Bay, the situation seemed befitting.
Online ticket prices were listed around $25. What I did not know about the Forum was that the Box Office is called the McDonald’s Box Office. I’d thought it meant there was a McDonald’s AND the box office. Interesting sponsorship there...
On our way to the building from the parking garage, we passed two people scalping tickets. On one occasion, I tried to step out of the crowd to ask one of the guys how much he wanted. To my surprise, AJ held onto my arm to prevent me from doing this. Later on, he told me the guy was "shady." Maybe he was... But that didn’t change the fact that the only tickets left at the McDonald’s Box Office were double the price of the cheap seats.
Good thing some other guy nearby was selling tickets for $15. And it turns out his girlfriend and I are both from Western New York.
For being located in Florida, this game sure had a lot of Buffalo super fans screaming "Let’s go Buffalo!"
We were also bombarded with advertisements. I think we should get paid to go to the games. Both fans and companies are paying a lot of money, so teams can pay some goalie from Sweden a million bucks a year. Literally. That translates to $12,195 per game (before income taxes) Whoa. Can you blame the guy? If someone offered me $12,000 to play one hockey game, I sure would give it a run even though I’m sure I’d give my team a handicap.
One thing AJ seemed pumped up for was a Chick-Fil-A deal wherein ticket stubs could get you a free sandwich if the Lightning scored at least four goals. When this happened during the game we were at, that was the only time he got up out of his seat to cheer. Unfortunately, that goal was declared invalid - making the sandwich dream a bust.
To sweeten the deal a bit, I did take my man to Cold Stone. To avoid the post-game rush/traffic jam frustration we hung out in this little area near the water called Channelside in Tampa. It being the weekend before Halloween, meant a sea of rather interesting costumes. Everything from sexy cops to sexy witches to sexy prostitutes? Eh, that’s what Halloween is for.
Overall not a bad night. And I didn’t even have to dress up as a sexy bee or anything.